MW Super Colossal Summer Movie Preview

I'm a little late with this, as the 2007 summer movie season began with Spider-Man 3, Shrek the Third, and to a much lesser extent 28 Weeks Later. This week sees the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie (honestly, I thought the second film was terribly bloated; the new one's 168 minute runtime doesn't give me much confidence). I've compiled a list of summer movies that I want to see; whether I get out to the theater is another question entirely.

And awaaaaay we go...

Ocean's Thirteen (June 8) - Easily my most anticipated movie this summer. Why, when Ocean's Twelve was a let-down (although, got better on repeated cable viewings)? Well, 1) the first movie is one of my all-time favorites, 2) this one's set in Vegas once again, and 3) the creative team behind the series realizes that the second movie was less than stellar.

The Simpsons Movie (July 27) - As a certifiable Simpsons nut, I should be highly anticipating their first foray into feature filmdom. But given how craptacular the TV series has been for years now, I'm not terribly optimistic. But then again, some of the writers from the show's golden age are involved. Maybe, just maybe, this'll be on par with South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.

Knocked Up (June 1) - Writer/director Judd Apatow. I think that's enough. (Okay, one more reason: Katherine Heigl's sublime chest).

The Bourne Ultimatum (August 3) - Man, I'm looking forward to Matt Damn kicking some more butt. The only hesitation I have is that Paul Greengrass is back at the helm. His shakey camerawork was effective in United 93; in The Bourne Supremacy...not so much.

Fido (June 15) - It's about time we had another zombie comedy.

Superbad (August 17) - I am sooo not in the target audience for this movie, but the trailer really made me laugh.

Ratatouille (June 29) - Patton Oswalt? Pixar? Writer/director Brad Bird? This should be a good 'un.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (June 15) - The first one was fun (and that's pretty much it). The scene of the Human Torch chasing the Silver Surfer looked surprisingly good when I saw it a while back. At the very least, there's Jessica Alba. And the Commish/Vic Mackey.

The Ten (August 3) - I know next to nothing about this film except its comprised of ten parts, each concerning one of the Ten Commandments. But I'll go see anything from the State (Wet Hot American Summer, "Reno 911", "Stella", "Viva Variety").

Day Watch (June 1) - Night Watch was the best Russian vampire movie that I'd ever seen. Here's hoping the sequel can top it.

Live Free or Die Hard (June 27) - Okay, this movie wins the award for Worst Title of the Summer, but c'mon: it's the return of John McClane. If only Hans Gruber could be brought back.

Death at a Funeral (June 29) - British hijinks during a solemn occasion. Just watch the damn trailer and laugh.

And the rest...

No Reservations (July 27) - Catherine Zeta Jones as a chef? Sounds yummy.

License to Wed (July 4) - Looks like it could be bad, but I'm curious to see Jim from "The Office" in a lead role (especially opposite Mandy Moore).

Transformers (July 4) - Yeah, it's a Michael Bay movie, but I loved the toys as a kid, so I'm obligated to see this.

The Brothers Solomon (September 7) - It's got Gob Bluth and Pam Beesly in it. Bob Odenkirk directed it. The trailer produced a few chuckles. Maybe this one'll be a rental.

1408 (June 22) - This Stephen King adaptaion looks weird and creepy, but when's the last time I saw a horror movie (non-zombie related, that is) in the theater? I'm such a wuss.