Quick movie review: "X-Men: The Last Stand"

X-Men: The Last Stand: Astute readers of MW know that I have an inner comic book geek, so imagine my excitement when spydrz produced some free tickets to last night's showing of the new X-men flick. Did it deliver? Yep. Kelsey Grammer was perfectly cast as the Beast (Frasier's got mad ups, yo). Once again, Ian McKellen's Magneto steals every scene he's in. Colossus was always one of my favorite mutants (along with the sorely missed Nightcrawler), so it was great to see him, even if he wasn't used to his fullness in this movie. And Vinnie Jones as the Juggernaut* - aw, yeah. Dark Phoenix on screen? Sentinels? Nice. Sure, some of the choices made in this film annoyed the fanboy in me (they made Juggernaut a mutant?), but this was one heck of a summer popcorn flick.

*Somehow, the whole "I'm the Juggernaut, bitch" internet phenomenon eluded me. Check out how it was utilized in the actual movie here.

Look at hot chicks or fling my poop?

Because nothing's funnier than a smoking chimp

Proof that we're descended from apes (or maybe it's just me): a new study shows that monkeys will pay for porn. They are so much like people it's scary.

Credit due: Penn Jillette's radio show ("Monkey Tuesday"!)

NWA was right

Hypothetical scenario: A couple from Virginia attends a Baltimore Orioles game and, while looking for a way to get onto I-95, gets lost and ends up in the ghetto. They ask a police officer for directions. The cop:

A) gives them directions and sends them on their way
B) refuses to tell them how to get to the interstate
C) intervenes when the couple asks another officer for directions
D) arrests them for trespassing on a public street and puts them in jail
E) B,C, and D

If you answered E, you are correct (although there is some dispute). If you'll excuse me, I have some Ice Cube* to blare.

*The angry, whitey-hating pre-movie career Ice Cube, that is.

Crush of the Week: Erica Hill

This week's Crush is Headline News anchor Erica Hill. I pretty much only know her from the "Straight to Hill" segment on Glenn Beck's show. In addition to being wildly attractive, she's got a great wit, as displayed when she verbally spars with Beck. And I detect some type of non-whiteness in her genetic makeup, but I can't put my finger on it. Ted Turner is taking a page from the Fox News Book of Eye Candy.



Speaking of Glenn Beck, I'm digging his TV show, but it's not without its faults. First and foremost, he needs to bring Stu in to riff off of. He's one of the reasons why Beck's radio show works so well. It'd also make Glenn seem a little less awkward when he's delivering his zingers. Additionally, the swaying camera and extreme close-ups need to go. MTV (and it's God-awful camera techniques and editing) is for 14 year olds, which is not exactly Headline News' demographic.

Someone alert Al Gore

Too bad he's preoccupied with the hunt for ManBearPig.

Credit due: the master debaters at DVD Talk

"Here you go. Here I am - Uncle Moe. Thank you, ma'am. This'll be a treat. Uncle Moe - Here I am while you eat."

Yesterday I ate at Moe's for the first time. Good stuff. Everything on the menu is named after refrences from Blazing Saddles, "Seinfeld", Caddyshack, etc. Right up my alley. Try the "John Coctostan" - it'll change your life (you should see my shoes).

Your ticket gets you the whole seat, but you'll only need THE EDGE!!!

This weekend I got reacquainted with a Southern high society tradition - the Enduro (now called Street Stock) at Southside Speedway.


Spydrz and the internet-shy Herodotus

Now, I hate NASCAR, but there's something endearing about these regional races. Plus, it provides for some GREAT people watching. Every attendee is straight out of "My Name Is Earl". I've never seen so much "Git 'Er Done" clothing in one place.



And oh the Road Hogs. I think I saw my future wife (uh, not really). It's not that she was all that attractive, but she had...you know.

Best quote: "I love this: a guy holding a girl's hand and she's holding a case of beer." (herodotus)

"Dennis, our bar is in South Philly...in a scary alley. May as well call it 'Rape Bar.'"

What's making me happy lately? The impending return of one of the funniest new TV shows - "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" (June 29).

I wish I could find a picture of Charlie, dressed up in a Nazi outfit and eating a banana.

Yet another esquire*

Congratulations, MandaPanda. Now go do law stuff.


The Mentor and the Protoge

Bonus picture: a bird crapped on some dude in front of me at the "caning ceremony".



Doodie!

I finally got confirmation that, despite not passing the bar, I am indeed entitled to use the term "esquire." Prepare for me to be even more obnoxious.

What caused my blogging hiatus?

A) None of the below
B) Big TV
C) MandaPanda's law school graduation
D) Exposure to Hypnotoad and Brain Slugs
E) Inability to get wireless router working
F) All of the above (except A)

Television: teacher, mother, secret lover

Why I'll never leave the house again.

My mother just bought a 50" HD LCD TV (although she doesn't have an HD signal...yet). And I love it. Just imagine how great it'll be to watch some of my favorite shows ("Eye on Springfield", "All My Circuits", "Sports Night", "Everybody Loves Hypnotoad", "Quahog 5 News", "Gumble 2 Gumble", "Knight Boat", etc.), not to mention my favorite movie (Hail to the Chimp).

And to the curious, the first movie played on the big screen was Blow.

I have DSLs*

No, get your mind out of the gutter. Tonight I got my mom's computer all set with DSL, so that means I now have a regular internet connection. No more frustration from piggybacking off of neighbors' unreliable wifi signals. No more periodic trips to the coffee shop or Panera to get online.

Tomorrow's project is to install my wireless router so that I can connect on my laptop (and keep this computer porn-free).

*Alternate post title: "Giving Angelina Jolie a run for her money"

My next car

Being a fan of (almost) all things retro, I am totally digging the Toyota FJ Cruiser. I've salivated over the VW Touareg for quite a while now, but they are just so damned expensive. These are more in line with my budget. It's still all just a dream, since I'm not in the market for a new car (my Jetta looks and runs just fine; my monthly student loan payments are akin to a car payment). I'll give it a couple of years. Hopefully, they'll offer a green exterior in the future (the Voodoo Blue is wicked, though). Not to mention that by then there should be peace in the Middle East and gas will be back down to $.85/gallon.

At least I don't look like Tom Petty

Looking for a good way to kill some time? Check out the (free!) face recognition software at MyHeritage.com. I always felt that I resembled royalty*. This proves it.



Apparently, I also resemble Beyonce and John Ritter.



Considering the former is someone who I'd like to, uh, wear matching sweaters with at the mall, that kind of creeps me out. And there's worse people to look like than Jack Tripper.

A few years ago I constructed a very rudimentary family tree that traced my family back to Mary Queen of Scots, but I don't know how much credence I'd put into my genealogical skills.

Quick movie review: "United 93"

United 93: I was really torn going into this movie. I'd heard that it was well done and respectful, but I really did not want to relive 9/11 just yet. But I'm extremely glad that I went. As you can imagine, the film packs an emotional wallop. This is a movie everyone should see; as time passes we become complacent* and need to be reminded of the real horrors that occurred on our soil five years ago. And while I absolutely loathed director Paul Greengrass's shaky camera in The Bourne Supremacy, it worked for this movie. As we enter the Summer Movie Season and our weekends are filled with Superman, Lex Luthor and the like, it's nice to see a movie about real heroes and villains to put things into perspective.

*Maybe that's not the right word.

Another shout out for the brotherman

My brother's featured in Episode 10 of the "UkeCast".

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Caliente!

Really, any excuse to post a photo of my favorite Mexican import (no, not Corona Light).

Micah World Top 25

Here they are, the top 25 songs burning up my iPod (as of 5.04.06):

1. "Oliver's Army" - Elvis Costello
2. "Knock Yourself Out" - Jon Brion
3. "Adrenaline!" - The Roots
4. "Alive With the Glory of Love" - Say Anything
5. "How To Be Dead" - Snow Patrol
6. "All the Pretty Girls Leave Town" - Tim Easton
7. "88 Lines About 44 Women" - The Nails
8. "Jesusland" - Ben Folds
9. "Lua" - Bright Eyes
10. "Bad Things" - Jace Everett
11. "You Are What You Love" - Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins
12. "William and Nancy's Parting" - John Wesley Harding
13. "International Dateline" - Ladytron
14. "Absolutely Cuckoo" - The Magnetic Fields
15. "Why Don't You Get a Job" - The Offspring
16. "Lump" - The Presidents of the United States of America
17. "If You Find Yourself Caught in Love" - Belle & Sebastian
18. "Hang on Mike" - The Candybutchers
19. "The Greatest" - Cat Power
20. "Death Valley Queen" - Flogging Molly
21. "Do It Better" - Happy Mondays
22. "Goodnight Goodnight" - Hot Hot Heat
23. "Handle With Care" - Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins
24. "Merry-Go-Round" - John Wesley Harding
25. "Love's Reign of Terro" - John Wesley Harding

Since the last chart, we've crowned a new king (one of my favorite EC songs) and added a few others, including one heck of a fun '90s novelty song, a moody electronic number, and a damn catchy Holocaust love song.

I'm eating here next time I'm in Chicago

I just listened to a podcast that featured an interview with the real Abe Frohman - Doug Sohn, proprietor of Hot Doug's in Chicago. He seemed like a cool guy (really, who goes to culinary school to open up a hot dog shop? Awesome.). What hooked me though is the mention of French fries cooked in duck fat. I have to try that before I die.

Speaking of culinary fowl and the Windy City, shame on the city council for banning oh-so-delicious foie gras.

Shout out to my brother, yo

My brother's featured on Episode 9 of the "UkeCast". His "band" website is here.

Nobody beats this doll

Comes with "booger pickin' finger".

How's this for a cool gift? The Biz Markie doll. Unfortunately, only 1000 were produced at $70 a pop, so it's out of my grasp. It's just as well. I don't need another knick-knack. My room looks enough like a pop culture Bennigan's as it is.

Happy May Day

Communists and illegal aliens, enjoy your day off.