I'll take "Number of times my co-worker next to me did a deep, mucus-y snort today" for $200, Alex

What is 31*?

Just one more reason why I'm elated that tomorrow's my last day at this assignment.

*No joke. I kept a running tally. You'd think my iPod would drown that out. Nope.

Micah World salutes Black History Month

"At least I don't weigh 500 lbs." (New Orleans 2003)

As February closes, I figured that I'd salute Black History Month. Above is a picture of me with bluesman Big Al Carson - an African-American.

Go here for a laugh (so wrong).

Now go here

Yes, Arnold is a candy raver.

A shortstack of cruelty

Today begins not only National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, but also National Pancake Week. I'm conflicted as to how to celebrate.

Go here

Do it. (and make sure your speakers are on)

Requiem for the Old Man

R.I.P. Darren McGavin, 1922-2006.



I bet he's happy to finally be reunited with the lamp.

Why aren't these on iTunes?

I want to hear 'em! These album covers and more (featuring oh-so-many puppets) available here.

Credit due: message board at Relevant

Requiem for Barney Fife

R.I.P. Don Knotts, 1924-2006.



At least he wasn't nipped in the bud. My Dad - a HUGE Andy Griffith Show fan - is probably curled up in the fetal position right now.

As a tribute, here is an mp3 of Dana Gould's classic stand-up bit about Don Knotts's inability to make obscene phone calls due to his distinctive voice (the file begins with a great "Vincent Price pickin' up the ladies" piece).

February/March reading pile

Here's what is on my immediate reading pile:



The Shroud of the Thwacker by Chris Elliott. I'm halfway through this farce and it is classic Elliott. Very absurd, but laugh-out-loud funny.
The Da Vinci Code (Illustrated Edition) by Dan Brown. This is one of those cultural phenomenons that I've been feeling left out of, like the whole Harry Potter thing. Unlike the boy wizard, I actually have an interest in this book, based on raves from my family and my general interest in conspiracy theories. I also want to read it before the movie comes out.
Angels & Demons by Dan Brown. I'll read this prequel only if I enjoy the above book.

And stuff that I've been periodically leafing through:



On Food and Cooking by Harold McGee. This book about the history and science behind, well, food and cooking is really interesting. And thorough. I mean, there's 50 pages devoted to eggs.
The Message Remix by Eugene H. Peterson. Any translation of the Bible endorsed by Bono's gotta be good, right? Right?

Crush of the Week: Tanith Belbin

This week's Crush is Olympic medalist and new US citizen Tanith Belbin.



To put it lightly, ice dancing is really fruity. But she's a looker.

Hump Day News Round-Up

• Just when you thought anthrax (the disease, not the thrash metal band) was out of the news, it comes back. No terrorists involved this time, though.
  
• Finally confirmed: San Francisco is full of (dog) shit, which will be turned into energy.
  
• During a game of Hide and Seek, a 7 year-old boy got trapped inside a clothes dryer. He sustained burns, but was free of any static cling.
  
• A new restaurant in China exclusively serves animal penis dishes. Uh, I'll stick with the General Tso's chicken, hold the penis (har har).
  
• Yahoo! has banned the use of the word "Allah" in the e-mail addresses it issues, even if the word appears within another word. As long as they don't yank my "Shiva_H_Vishnu" and "Zombie Jesus" aliases, I'm cool.

Turning Japanese (I really think so)

If I never get a job, if I never have a fulfilling relationship, if I never meet any personal and professional goals that I've set for myself, there is only one reason...



Sudoku is just something to kill time. "Katamari Damacy" is consuming my life. It gets the award for the Most Japanese Thing I've Ever Bought*.

The music rocks.

*non-sushi category

Happy Presidents' Day

I've spent part of this holiday weekend brushing up on some Executives (I'm a dork), watching documentaries on Thomas Jefferson and Teddy Roosevelt. I half expected one of my law professors to be featured on the former, considering how much on TJ's jock he was. I have one left to watch: Ronald Reagan (this doc was produced by CBS News, so I'll have to take it with more than a few grains of salt).

Speaking of the Gipper, here's my new shirt:


Thanks to Spydrz for clueing me in on its existence.

Most of my enjoyment of wearing this shirt is pissing off those trendy so-Che-lists (who ironically betray their Hero of the People's Marxist ideals with every t-shirt purchase). I'll get a kick wearing it to the premiere of Steven Soderbergh's upcoming Che Guevara lovefest (I assume).

My current favorite headline

Cartoon Violence Erupts Around The World

The situation isn't funny, but I get thoughts of anvils, dynamite and ACME products when I read that.

"Be vewy, vewy quiet. We're hunting infidels."

In related news, Iran has declared that it will refer to Danish pastries as "Roses of the Prophet Mohammad". I guess that's no sillier than "Freedom Fries".

Four things...

Just finished watching In Cold Blood - good flick. I remember seeing part of it in a journalism class in college. Nice to finally watch the whole thing. Kinda funny how the Truman Capote character was sooooo not like him. And Robert Blake a killer? Nonsense!

Anyway, I saw this floating around the 'net and figured I'd keep it going:

Four jobs I've had:
1. Busboy
2. "Schools Coordinator" for a non-profit
3. "Ratings Coordinator" for a different non-profit
4. Law clerk

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Ocean's Eleven
2. Caddyshack
3. Shaun of the Dead
4. National Lampoon's Vacation

Four places I've lived:
1. Colonial Heights, VA
2. Richmond, VA
3. Alexandria, VA
4. Worthington, OH

Four TV shows I love:
1. "24"
2. "The Office" (US)
3. "Scrubs"
4. "The Shield"

Four highly regarded and recommended TV shows that I've never watched a single minute of:
1. "Desperate Housewives"
2. "Nip/Tuck"
3. "Grey's Anatomy"
4. "Lost"

Four places I've vacationed:
1. Continental Europe (Germany, Italy, Czech Republic, Austria, Slovenia)
2. Las Vegas, NV
3. St. Maarten
4. UK (Scotland/England)

Four sites I visit daily:
1. DVD Talk
2. All Music Guide
3. Stylus Magazine
4. (porn link deleted)

Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. Vegas (OG?)
2. The beach - any beach
3. Scotland
4. With close friends and/or family

Pay it forward.

This makes my stalking so much easier

This week I discoverd Google Earth (I know - always two steps behind everyone else). It is so cool! Rest assured, if you're my friend and I have your address, I looked you up.

BTW, here's a little slice of the Micah World Reality Tour:


My house.


My law school.


My old workplace.


My old house.


My alma mater.

I'll post more historical landmarks at a later date.

For the emotionally challenged

Quirky site alert: Eric Conveys an Emotion (and other stuff)



My favorite: Staring at your hands the way people do in movies when they've just killed their first person

Crush of the Week: Gretchen Bleiler

This week's Crush is Olympic medalist snowboarder Gretchen Bleiler



Next to the Curl Girls, she's my favorite Olympian.

(This Elisha Cuthbert-looking curler from the Russian team was going to be this week's Crush, but I can't find a good pic of her at all.)

Hump Day News Round-Up

• A Ft. Wayne, IN, 10 year-old boy handed out ecstasy on the school bus, thinking the drug was candy. Now that's gotta be one happy school bus.
  
• My kind of religion: a Waco, TX, priest blesses a brand new Hooters restaurant.
  
• Finally, a movie George Clooney, Susan Sarandon, et al. can feel good about giving an Oscar to: an anti-America movie is huge over in Turkey. It stars Billy Zane as a crazed, homicidal American soldier and Gary Busey as a Jewish-American doctor who harvests the organs of Arab prisoners. Sounds like a winner.
  
• Two Dunkin' Donuts employees were arrested for spitting (and urinating) in police officers' coffee. That's why I make my own coffee, so I can get the coffee-spit-urine balance just right.
  
• You probably haven't heard because it's gotten barely any play in the mainstream media, but Dick Cheney was involved in a hunting accident. I really wish the press would reel in its coverage of stuff like Iran enriching uranium and focus more on stuff that affects us all like the Vice President's recreational exploits.

Anti-Valentine's Day Mix Tape

If you're like me, today doesn't rank among your favorite holidays. So, to help you wallow in your depressive state, I have compiled a mix tape chock full of songs about broken relationships, unrequited love, and general bitterness. I had one self-imposed rule in making this: because it'd be just so easy, no songs by Gerald Collier or the Cure (yet I include The Smiths - go figure). Enjoy!

1. "How Soon Is Now?" - The Smiths (choice lyric: "There's a club, if you'd like to go/You could meet somebody who really loves you/So you go, and you stand on your own/And you leave on your own/And you go home, and you cry/And you want to die")
2. "The World Has Turned and Left Me Here" - Weezer (choice lyric: "I talked for hours to your wallet photograph/And you just listened/You laughed, enchanted by my intellect/Or maybe you didn't")
3. "In Love This Way" - Descendents (choice lyric: "Because I think about you every night and day/And when I could have asked I let it slip away/I've got to get to know you, but I'm so afraid/Well it's so hard to be a friend and be in love this way")
4. "Stax" - Steve Poltz (choice lyric: "I've got piles of old pictures/Got your clothes on my racks/You can keep most of the records/Leave me the Motown and the Stax")
5. "Porcelain" - Better Than Ezra (choice lyric: "Well I wish I could kill you, savor the sight/Get into my car, drive into the night/Then lie as I scream to the heavens above/That I was the last one you ever loved")
6. "Good Year For The Roses" - Elvis Costello (choice lyric: "Or the lip ring on a half filled cup of coffee/That you poured and didn't drink/But at least you thought you wanted it/That's so much more than I can say for me")
7. "I Still Miss Someone" - Johnny Cash (choice lyric: "I go out on a party/And look for a little fun/But I find a darkened corner/because I still miss someone")
8. "Sad Songs and Waltzes" - Cake (choice lyrics: "I'm writing a song all about you/A true song as real as my tears/But you've no need to fear it/'Cause no one will hear it/Sad songs and waltzes aren't selling this year")
9. "The Last Polka" - Ben Folds Five (choice lyrics: "He said, 'Well I hate that it's come to this/But baby I was doing fine/How do you think that I survived/The other 25 before you?'")
10. "Add It Up" - Violent Femmes (choice lyric: "Why can't I get just one fuck?")
11. "She Doesn't Exist" - Robyn Hitchcock (choice lyric: "I let her go like the fool that I was/Thought I'd get over her soon/I smell her perfume when my eyes are closed/And I see her face in the moon")
12. "Passing Me By" - The Pharcyde (choice lyric: "Why does the apple of my eye/Overlook and disregard my feelings/No matter how much I try?")
13. "Destruction" - Pigeon John (choice lyric: "I gave you my heart/Then you replaced it with a feakin' pen" - great Say Anything... reference)
14. "Fuck You Lucy" - Atmosphere (choice lyric: "Hunger for the drama/Hunger for the nurture/Gonna take it further/The hurt feels like murder")
15. "Winona" - Matthew Sweet (choice lyric: "Could you be my little movie star?/Could you be my long lost girl?/It's true that I don't really know you/But I'm alone in the world")
16. "Fingerprints - Odds (choice lyric: "There might be the good ol' days/If all the right things get forgotten/A smile can still be photogenic/If you can't see the molars are rotten")
17. "After Hours" - The Velvet Underground (choice lyric: "All the people are dancing and they're havin such fun/I wish it could happen to me")
18. "For No One" - The Beatles (choice lyric: "Your day breaks, your mind aches/You find that all her words of kindness linger on/When she no longer needs you")
19. "So Cruel" - U2 (choice lyric: "Her skin is pale like God's only dove/Screams like an angel for your love/Then she makes you watch her from above/And you need her like a drug")
20. "Before My Heart Attacks" - Jason Falkner (choice lyric: "I'm drinking more and more and more/Can't hold onto myself/There ain't no use when you're not here/Appreciating my good health")
21. "Love Will Tear Us Apart" - Joy Division (choice lyric: "When the routine bites hard and ambitions are low /And the resentment rides high but emotions won't grow /And we're changing our ways, taking different roads /Then love, love will tear us apart again")
22. "Till You Die" - Candy Butchers (choice lyric: "And baby, if I awake/I'm gonna squeeze you til you break/And do you like you did me/And if you cannot see me cry/I will haunt you till you die")
23. "Can't We Be Friends" - Frank Sinatra (choice lyric: "I thought I found the girl of my dreams/Now it seems this is how the story ends/She's gonna turn me down and say 'Can't we be friends?'")

So, there you go. Break out the bourbon and pills and have fun. Me? I'm going to have a big salad, hit the gym, and then watch "The Shield". Just another normal night...

Bitter Sweethearts

The second worst holiday candy are those Tums-like candy hearts (the first being Peeps). Ugh. But they were the subject of one of my favorite "Mystery Science Theater 3000" skits: Bitter Sweethearts. Here are the messages Joel and the 'Bots had inscribed on their candy hearts:

• Get Out
  
• Owie, Owie, Owie
  
• Love Me
  
• Still Mad
  
• My Needs
  
• Bite Me
  
• Drop 'Em
  
• I'm Tested
  
• That Hair
  
• Can't Leave The County
  
• Weird Face
  
• You'll Do
  
• Like A Brother
  
• It's Blue!

Classic. And so true.

"Charlene (I'm Right Behind You)"

The award for funniest TV moment* of last week would be Stephen Colbert's early '80s synthpop stalker song "Charlene (I'm Right Behind You)" from the "The Colbert Report". The dance moves, the eyeliner, the music...hilarious! And it's quite catchy.

I have a Quicktime movie of it that I'll post (via Rapidshare) if there's any interest.

While we're on the subject of Colbert - and considering tomorrow's holiday - check out "Stephen's Laws of Love". Funny stuff - especially for all of you Filliam H. Muffman watchers.

Per THSE's request (him being the only person who seems to download whatever I put up), here is the movie file. Enjoy it.

*Non-"The Office"/"Scrubs"/"Arrested Development" category

That nelly in the title role did an excellent job

I saw Capote today and can't recommend it enough. Great movie. Philip Seymour Hoffman deserves the Oscar. Too bad I already made my "Best of 2005" list.

Now, to watch In Cold Blood sometime this week.

That is all.

Why I hate watching new TV shows

CBS cancels "Love Monkey" after three episodes.

I'm sick of this whole "if the debut episode isn't #1 in the ratings, kill the series and replace it with a reality show" mentality of the networks. Gone are the days when quality, but low-rated series are allowed time to develop an audience ("Seinfeld" and "Cheers" come to mind). "Love Monkey" was going up against "Law & Order: SVU" - what'd CBS expect?

It makes me not want to give new shows a try, since there's a high probability that they will get yanked from the schedule. Why bother?

(The above rant also applies to Fox for axing "Kitchen Confidential" earlier this season.)

Micah World Top 25

Here they are, the top 25 songs burning up my iPod (as of 2.12.06):

1. "Jesusland" - Ben Folds
2. "Bad Things" - Jace Everett
3. "Why Don't You Get a Job" - The Offspring
4. "All the Pretty Girls Leave Town" - Tim Easton
5. "Lua" - Bright Eyes
6. "Death Valley Queen" - Flogging Molly
7. "Knock Yourself Out" - Jon Brion
8. "Absolutely Cuckoo" - Magnetic Fields
9. "Troublesome Kind" - Tim Easton
10. "Don't Ask Me Why" - Billy Joel
11. "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" - Elton John
12. "Goodnight Goodnight" - Hot Hot Heat
13. "Tribulations" - LCD Soundsystem
14. "The Bottle's Talking Now" - Mary Prankster
15. "Ignite" - Northern State
16. "Let's Kill Saturday Night" - Robbie Fulks
17. "You" - Shelby Starner
18. "Goodbye Girl" - Squeeze
19. "You To Thank" - Ben Folds
20. "She's Always a Woman" - Billy Joel
21. "Fall Back Down" - Candy Butchers
22. "Hang On Mike" - Candy Butchers
23. "The Greatest" - Cat Power
24. "Hateful" - The Clash
25. "Sellout" - Emmet Swimming

I'm now taking Long Distance Dedications.

(Ah, you gotta love blog filler.)

Requiem for a Big Honkey

R.I.P. Franklin Cover, 1928-2006.



As a kid, "The Jeffersons" was one of my favorite shows. With their contrast in size, color, and class, Tom Willis and George Jefferson were great comic foils for each other. Tom's in a deluxe apartment in the sky now.

BTW, Is this not a cool shirt?



(See, it wouldn't be racist if I wore it because I am, in fact, a honkey.)

So long, Bluths.

Tonight is the 2 hour season finale (and quite possibly the series finale) of "Arrested Development". I'd like to personally thank this nation's Nielsen families who chose to watch such quality fare as "According to Jim" and "Skeet Shooting With Celebrities" rather than this original and funny show. Let's churn out more reality shows and bland sitcoms!

BTW, last night's episode of "The Office" was sheer brilliance. My favorite part:

Ryan (looking at the camera, full of regret): "I hooked up with her on February 13th."

And Michael's "favorite New York pizza joint" is Sbarro. Ha!

The art of spam

The other day I received the following spam in my MySpace page (Need a friend? Add me!). The way the prose flows from your lips - it's just beautiful:

"Hi my new friend! I liked yours profile. I shall be very glad with you to correspond and learn you closer. I think that between us interesting correspondence and further and friendship can begin. Give I I shall tell about myself a little. My name is Oksana. To me of 27 years and I am still lonely. I search serious relations and responsibly I concern to correspondence. I am afraid to be deceived and I promise you the honesty and sincerity. I search for the person with which it was possible to create good and strong family in which there would be a harmony and understanding. I very friendly and sociable girl, I kind and sympathetic. I work in veterinary clinic for animals and very much I love the work, the patients of animals, to me it seems all of them such to charm. I like to learn all new, sometimes I study independently some sciences and consequently I like to read books of various genres, I like to meet friends and cheerfully to spend time but it it happens seldom because all of us are borrowed occupied on work and consequently I very much miss and I feel lonely in this world. I want to learn you more in each letter and I with impatience shall wait for your letter. You can write to me the letter on my address (withheld)"

It's poetry! Apparently, this spam is targeted to the lonely and the stupid. Fool me five times, shame on me...

Crushes of the Week: Cassie and Jamie Johnson

This week's Crushes are U.S. Women's Curling Team members (and sisters) Cassie and Jamie Johnson. I know next to nothing about curling, but I'll be watching. Because of them.



Although I don't quite have Olympics Fever just yet, my temperature is rising. I much prefer the Winter Olympics to the Summer ones. I mean, c'mon: luge! USA! USA! USA!

Hump Day News Round-Up

• A 19 year-old girl admits that calling in a bomb threat (at LaGuardia, no less) to delay a plane she was running late for was a mistake. I'm going to need to see a picture of her. If she's hot enough, I'll let her immense stupidity slide.
  
• West Virginia has found the cure for the childhood obesity epidemic: Dance Dance Revolution.
  
• Part of Jimmy Carter's diatribe at Corretta Scott King's funeral: "We only have to recall the color of the faces of those in Louisiana, Alabama and Mississippi who are most devastated by Katrina to know that there are not yet equal opportunities for all Americans." So, God's a racist? Who'da thunk it?
  
• Upset with how much he paid for his car, a Florida man drove into a Ford dealership, causing almost $1 million in damage. There's two ways to solve any problem: 1) throw a house party or 2) crash your car into the object of your frustration. Giving Kid 'n' Play a phone call would've been much cheaper.
  
• A woman revived a chicken using CPR. Any quip that I could make wouldn't be nearly as funny as the woman's use of the word "dadgum" in retelling her story. Flyover Country folk are so real.
  
• Forget the Super Bowl. Our great country can now claim the World Grilled Cheese Eating Champion (Fun Fact: she's from my last city of residence). Mmmmmmmm...26 grilled cheese sandwiches.

It's been a while since the last "Britney is white trash" post

"Hey, Ma! I done got me a new toy! Ain't he cute?"

In her defense for driving with her baby in her lap, Britney said, "I instinctively took measures to get my baby and me out of harm's way, but the paparazzi continued to stalk us. I love my child and would do anything to protect him."

Yeah, like putting him directly in front of an airbag that, if deployed, would kill him. Kind of makes you long for the halcyon days when Spears was nothing more than jailbait in a schoolgirl uniform.

Number 9...Number 9...Number 9

I am Sudoku's bitch. Well, maybe that's an overstatement. Always a year or two behind the trends, I just discovered Sudoku a few days ago. I won't say that I'm "hooked" yet, but I am enjoying it (even if I resort to hints a little more than I should).

EDIT: My stats:
Easy puzzles solved: 14
Your average time: 7:54
Your fastest time: 5:50

Yeah, I haven't ventured past "easy." Wanna fight about it?

All he needs to walk against the wind is a paper clip and a piece of gum

Richard Dean Anderson was in one of the better Super Bowl ads, reprising his "MacGyver" role. But I think it should be known that at one time he was a mime.



That may turn off even Patty and Selma.

Thoughts on the Super Bowl commercials

Not caring about either team in the Super Bowl this year, my attention turned to the commercials even more so than usual. Some thoughts as they aired:

• Harrison Ford: you just look silly in an earring. And lose the goatee.
  
• If you need an actor to play an agent, Jay Mohr (Jerry Maguire, "Action") is your man.
  
• I'm totally on Pixar's jock, but Cars just looks dumb.
  
• I haven't even seen the movie, but Brokeback Mountain now makes me think all cowboys are gay. That probably wasn't Budweiser's intention for their ad.
  
• Chimps will make anything funny. The one smoking a cigar and holding a burning dollar bill? Hilarious.
  
• Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the bad guy in MI:3! I mean, I was going to see this movie anyway, but now...
  
• Given the show's suckitude for the past few years, "from the creator of 'Saturday Night Live'" doesn't have the cachet it once did.
  
• The Go Daddy girl. Yummy.
  
• Sprint's crime deterrent made me laugh.
  
• "Might as well face it. You're addicted to 'Lost'." Cheesy.

Halftime: Mick & company, your pre-Tattoo You music is great, but hang it up already. Try aging with some dignity, if it's not too late. The RS logo stage was cool, though.

• Anyone else a bit creeped out thinking about the process of the giant robot and monster getting it on so they could produce that Hummer baby?
  
• More chimps!
  
• I'm thinking that Taco Bell meant to have that girl be geeky, but she's damn cute. Yeah - glasses.
  
• Oh, man. Sprint utilizing "Yakety Sax" from Benny Hill's show. Classic.
  
• Emerald Nuts was kind of clever.
  
• Nice to see McGuyver back.
  
• Hey, ABC, don't dumb down society even more. Put a question mark (and not a period) after "Who wouldn't". This ain't an Abbott and Costello routine.
  
• A remake of the Billy Crystal/Gregory Hines movie Running Scared? Nope.

Wow. What a craptacular year for Super Bowl commercials.

Another test

Check one. Check one. Sybillance. Sybillance.

EDIT: Okay, looks like Blogger got things sorted out (except for the posts and comments that seem to be lost in the blogosphere ether). Posting shall resume.

Just checking to see if Blogger's still screwed up

Testes. Testes.

1...2...3?

EDIT: And yes, it is still messed up. Frustration.

EDIT: Since I'm not going to be posting much until this issue gets resolved (really, what's the point of comments/posts if they are just going to be deleted when new ones are made?), here's an mp3 for you:

Ozomatli (w/ Charlie 2Na & Cut Chemist) - "Super Bowl Sundae"

Hopefully, things'll get cleared up soon.

At least the empty bar stools will have clean air

Thanks to Bureaucrash for the graphic.

Columbus's smoking ban turned one year old yesterday and an anti-smoking zealot-funded study* trumpeted the improvement in the city's air. Funny how there was absolutely no mention by the Nanny Staters on how the economic impact of the ban. If I were in their shoes (and thank Allah I'm not - what a life devoid of pleasure), I would definitely have commissioned a study on whether or not bar and restaurant business had grown, for PR purposes if the conclusions were favorable. Could it be that business held steady or went down in the past year and they are sitting on such a study?

My favorite part of yesterday's Columbus Dispatch article:

Less than a mile north of yesterday's news conference, smokers legally puffed away at Champps, a restaurant in Clinton Township.

That has meant $32,000 more business, said Champps General Manager Tim Klunk. "That's monstrous for us." Business is up 6 percent compared to the same time before the ban.

So, I guess smoking bans are good for the economy...of neighboring towns that don't infringe on property rights.

On a related note, here is the story of a Newark, OH, restaurant owner fighting her city's smoking ban.

Disclosure: I abhor cigarette smoking, but I do indulge in the occasional cigar or pipe.

*Hey, if people can point out tobacco industry-sponsored studies, I can point out the inverse. Agendas go both ways.

Happy Groundhog Day!

"I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life."

Crush of the Week: Sophia Myles

This week's Crush is actress Sophia Myles. She played the vampire Erika in Underworld. Hottie bloodsucker!



Unfortunately, she was left out of the sequel, save for an extremely brief flashback scene. She's currently in a movie that I'll likely never see.

Hump Day News Round-Up

• Two former cocktail waitresses filed a $70 million sexual discrimination suit against Atlantic City's Borgata Casino, alleging that their employer "humiliated costumed 'Borgata Babes' by imposing weight limits, encouraging breast augmentation surgery and emphasizing looks over job performance." Enough! I'm taking my business to a more enlightened establishment, like the Hooters Casino Hotel.
  
• I could care less about either team playing in the Super Bowl this year, but if Condi says the Steelers are going to win, then I have to root for Pittsburgh.
  
• A Tennessee man ran a woman off of the road because he was reading porn magazines while driving. Ladies and gentlemen, I implore you to show some restraint and not leaf through your erotica until you reach your driveway, at the very least.
  
• Italy's prime minister has taken a vow of celibacy until after his country's April 9th general elections. He now has the coveted school marm/librarian/spinster vote locked up.
  
• Samuel Alito was sworn into the Supreme Court yesterday. Despite what his critics have been claiming, abortion was still legal as of this posting.