Mistletoe and Outty

Okay, folks, I'm heading south of the Mason-Dixon line for the holidays and Micah World will be on its Holiday Update Schedule (read: whenever I manage to get to the coffee shop with free wifi). I hope everyone's Christmas/Chanukah/Kwanzaa/Festivus is filled with joy.

Also, I want to thank everyone that has made making this blog fun for the past year. It has hit 41,000 visitors! I'll do my best to keep you entertained and informed (mostly the former) in 2006.

"On Moshe! On Herschel! On Shlomo!"

I just found a website that tells the magical story of "The Night Hanukkah Harry Saved Christmas" (complete with sound files!). This "Saturday Night Live" sketch is truly one of Jon Lovitz's best.

"Socks?"
"Eight pair! Can you believe it?"

Fix some popcorn and put on your mithril pajamas

Since I'm taking a fairly long holiday break, I figured I'd devote a day next week to a DVD marathon of epic proportions. My first thought was to watch the fifth season of "The Sopranos," but decided I'd wait until just before the new season starts next year. Then I considered watching all six Star Wars movies, but I'm just not feeling it right now. Band of Brothers? Nah, I did a hardcore viewing of that over the summer. And then it hit me: all three extended editions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I've been wanting to watch the series back to back for some time now. Plus, given the theatrical release schedule of each movie, they remind me of Christmas time. It's going to be a test of will, persistence, and ass-durance, I'm sure. But I'm just geeky enough to do it.

Crush of the Week: Amy Lee

This week's Crush is singer Amy Lee of Evanescence. Always a couple years behind the trends, I am just now getting into this band and their album Fallen.



You know, sometimes I just dig the goth chicks.

"Goth girl
What are you wearing today
Black again
Goth girl
It's such a fine day in May
But you think it's raining"
-"Goth Girl," John Wesley Harding

Hump Day News Round-Up

• Commie Super Apes Are Our Superiors: It has been uncovered that Josef Stalin wanted to breed half man/half ape soldiers.
  
• Researchers have determined that Beethoven died of lead poisoning. There goes my "bungee jump gone horribly amiss" theory.
  
• Scientists use emotion recognition software to determine that the famed Mona Lisa was 83% happy, 9% disgusted, 6% fearful, and 2% angry in her portrait. I 100% don't really care.

Holidays Are Happy

Going way back to the archives for this Micah World Classic repost, but it's still pretty damn funny and apropos for the season...



I will be very much Merry Christmas, thanks.

"Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party was so lame."

I blogged about the Christmas party episode of "The Office" a week or so ago and for those that missed out on seeing it, it will be rerun tonight at 9:30 EST. Watch it.

Things are going to start happening to me now

I'm famous. You see, I sent a little e-mail to Tim at "Distorted View" saying how much I enjoyed his podcast (and I also attached a couple of Christmas songs - "I Farted on Santa's Lap" and "Christmastime For My Penis") and he read it on today's show. My plan for worldwide media domination, which began last year with this blog, is right on schedule.

If you listen to today's podcast, beware. It's "Sextastic Tuesday" (in which a ridiculous and/or gross pornographic short story is featured) and the story Tim read today is particularly disgusting. My mom would be proud.

Which one is more disturbing?

Christmas 2002

A) My brother's Cosby sweater
B) The fact that he's scruffing his cat with his mouth

"The Chronic- What?! -cles of Narnia"

I think everyone with a pulse can agree that "Saturday Night Live" is merely a shell of its former self. It used to be Must See TV (or Must Tape And Watch After Church TV when I was a wee lad), but now it's just plain bad. Occasionally it will produce a chuckle or two, but mostly it's just painful to watch. I'm at the point now where I will only tune in if I like the host or musical guest. I like Jack Black, so I watched last night's episode.

Bah! Another stinker except for one piece: "Lazy Sunday," where Chris Parnell and Andy Samberg do some white boy rappin' about Narnia, Mapquest, and cupcakes. Crazy delicious!

Peep a stream of the video here. (If anyone can direct me to where I can download it, I'd greatly appreciate it.)

Where is my mind?

No, I didn't blow away my alter ego while the world around me tumbled like at the end of Fight Club (belated spoiler alert!). I'm still here - just preoccupied:

Going to a couple of winter solstice parties.

Stocking up on munitions.

Getting Christmas cards out.

Resuming the insatiable need to put more and more music on My Precious (read: my iPod).

Plowing through the backlog of programming saved on my DVR so it won't be stuffed to the rafters when I return from holiday.

Also, I haven't had anything really of note to report or comment on. Maybe I'll find something to post about while I upload pictures to Imagestation and watch The Lord of the Rings on TV*.

*Okay, add this trilogy to the Ocean's Eleven List (movies I'll watch whenever broadcast even though I own much superior editions on DVD). Sub-par picture and audio quality? Edited for time, content, and advertising? Improper aspect ratio? Yep, but I'm too lazy to actually get up and put the damn movie in.

What am I drinking tonight?

I'll be imbibing while I do Christmas cards tonight (which could potentially be dangerous - "Merry Christmas, slut. Love, Micah"). What will I be drinking?

a. Maker's Mark and Diet Coke
b. vanilla vodka and tonic
c. The Dalmore 12 year single malt
d. Jameson Irish Whiskey
e. Raspberry Ice Crystal Light

The answer at 11.

EDIT: If you answered "b" and "c" - you're right!

Excellent...

Forbes Magazine has released the Fictional 15, its list of the world's wealthiest fictional characters. They are:

1. Santa Claus
2. Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks
3. Richie Rich
4. Lex Luthor
5. C. Montgomery Burns
6. Scrooge McDuck
7. Jed Clampett
8. Bruce Wayne
9. Thurston Howell III
10. Willy Wonka
11. Arthur Bach
12. Ebenezer Scrooge
13. Lara Croft
14. Cruella De Vil
15. Lucius Malfoy

Where exactly does Mom from "Futurama" rate on this list? Or Duke Phillips of "The Critic"? Need I inquire about Mr. Potter? Dr. Evil? Richard Branson?

And to illustrate how out of touch I am, I had no clue who #15 was until I clicked on his profile.

Crush of the Week: Sarah Silverman

This week's Crush is comedian Sarah Silverman. She's very cute and has a dirty, dirty mouth. Offensive, yet hilarious.



I really want to see her new stand-up movie Jesus Is Magic.

Hump Day News Round-Up

• Gerald Ford is still alive.
  
• Some movie about a monkey that goes apeshit opens today. Yeah, I'd never heard of it, either.
  
• Former Attorney General Benjamin Civiletti has become the first lawyer to charge $1,000 per hour. Maybe I should give the bar exam another go.
  
• Whoever loses, I win: It's the greenies vs. animal rights nuts regarding the construction of a wind farm in the UK.
  
• An anonymous person put four gold coins worth $4,000 in a Salvation Army collection kettle in Denver, CO. Also, a woman donated a diamond ring. That just warms the cockles, doesn't it?

The true meaning of X-Mas

You learn something new every day. For instance, the "X" in "X-mas" is short for "Xpiotoc" (kind of - I don't know how to type the Greek letters, so I used approximations). You see...

"Christ is the English representation of the Greek word Xpiotoc (transliterated as Khristos), which means anointed. The Christian religion takes its name from Christ, as a title given to Jesus of Nazareth, always capitalized as a singularly descriptive title meaning literally The Anointed One. In English translations of the New Testament, the Greek Inoouc Xpiotoc, and related phrases, are almost invariably translated Jesus Christ or Christ Jesus, leading to the common, though inaccurate, perception that 'Christ' was the last name of Jesus of Nazareth. The part of Christian theology focusing on the identity, life, teachings and works of Jesus, is known as Christology." (taken from the good ol' semi-reliable Wikipedia)

And, in the spirit of the season, here's another "I did not know that" factoid: "In 1966, during his annual two weeks of active duty, [Jimmy] Stewart requested a combat assignment and participated in a bombing strike over Vietnam."

George Bailey bombed Charlie! Oh, schnap!

Come on in and pull yourself up a chair

I found Chairry!



I saw the above while perusing the Sharper Image catalog. And you can plug your iPod into it!* So, if anyone reading this has deep pockets and wants to buy some random blogger a Christmas present...

In other technological news, you can buy a Bluetooth-enabled hug shirt, which can provide "the physical sensation of a hug over distance." Hmmm. Now, if they sold "hug pants," I'd buy two pairs.

*I swear, that device has brought accessorizing to a whole new level. And since I'm a sucker for add-ons and gadgets, I couldn't be happier.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Pimp!"

I know we still have a couple of weeks, but I think I can pretty much call it. The award for Best New Christmas TV Programming goes to last week's episode of "The Office." It was just so brilliantly written and acted...hilarious. I've watched it maybe four times so far and I'm considering buying it off of iTunes. Yeah, I guess I'm a bit obsessive with my comedy (among other things). Some choice quotes:

Michael Scott: Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say 'Hey man, I love you this many dollars worth.'

Toby: I got Angela. She's into these posters of babies dressed as adults. I got her one of those. I felt...kinda weird buying that.

Phyllis: Does everyone know my boyfriend, Bob Vance?
Kevin: Kevin Malone.
Bob: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Stanley: Stanley Hudson.
Bob: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Ryan: Ryan Howard.
Bob: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Ryan: What line of work you in, Bob?

Michael Scott: Well, happy birthday Jesus. Sorry your party was so lame.

Ryan: Angela drafted me into the party planning committee. Her memo said that we need to prepare for every possible disaster. Which to me, seems...excessive.

Pam Beesley: You do realize we can't have liquor at the party.
Michael Scott: Yeah, I know... damnit. Stupid corporate...wet blankets. Like booze ever killed anybody.

Dwight Shrute: 'A real man makes his own luck,' Billy Zane, Titanic.

Michael Scott: So Phyllis is basically saying, "Hey Michael, I know you did a lot to help the office this year, but I only care about you an oven mitt's-worth." I gave Ryan an iPod!

Michael Scott: I got it! We are going to turn Secret Santa into Yankee Swap.
Jim: What is Yankee Swap?
Michael Scott: One person chooses a gift. The next person can either choose a gift or steal that person's gift. If your gift gets stolen, then you can steal someone else's gift or choose a new gift.
Jim Halpert: I thought that was called Nasty Christmas.
Pam Beesley: Yeah, we call it White Elephant.
Michael Scott: Well, I call it Fun!

Angela: Michael should have asked the party planning committee first. He's not supposed to just spring things on us out of nowhere. [begins to sob]

Dwight Shrute: Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets...Christmas.

Michael Scott: You're the expert. Is this enough to get 20 people plastered?
Salesperson: 15 bottles of vodka? Yeah. That should do it.

Meridith: The deal is, this is kind of my last hurrah, because I made a New Year's Resolution that I'm not going to drink anymore...during the week.

Michael Scott: Christmas is awesome. First of all, you get to spend time with people you love. Secondly, you can get drunk and no one can say anything. Third, you give presents. What's better than giving presents? And fourth, getting presents. So, four things. Not bad for one day. It's really the greatest day of all time.

If you missed this episode, it'll be rerun on Dec. 20 @ 9:30 pm. Catch it.

I think it's a smart idea on NBC's part moving this and "My Name Is Earl" to Thursdays. If only they'd also air "Scrubs" on that night, then they could definitely regain their Must See TV throne (at least to me).

And call me weird, but I think Angela may be in the running to be a future Crush of the Week.

Making spirits bright

You dance like you're drunk but you sing like you're sober
You pulled the last pint when the party was over
When you're alone and you lie in your bed.
The rain on the roof is the dance of the dead.
-The Prodigals, "The Morning After"

I've rediscovered my love of Bloody Marys* as a mid-morning eye-opener and early-afternoon eye-closer.

*"It's a Bloody, buddy."

Finally a show to fill the "Friends" void

Al Sharpton will soon be filming "Al in the Family" - a sitcom pilot for CBS. Funny how our "Sharpton-in-Disney-films" jokes in college ten years ago weren't all that far off. I wonder if the copy of his out of print biography that I bought way back when will be worth anything. One day I'll get around to reading it.

As for his sitcom - eh. I'll stick with "Mmmm-hmmm" (Fridays on UPN!).

Like giant fluffy pillows filled with cocaine

Snow! Cowtown got a couple inches of the white stuff overnight. Thanks, God, for providing the perfect backdrop for my Christmas cocktail party tomorrow. I owe you one.

Cuckoo for podcasts

Lately I've been passing the time at work by listening to various podcasts. This was spurred on by my obtaining an iPod (yes, I know you don't need one to listen to podcasts, but it makes it a hell of a lot easier to get the damn things). I've found some great ones. And I've found some downright terrible ones. Currently in my rotation:

• "Cinecast": Two film enthusiasts (read: geeks) from Chicago provide their analysis of movies past and present. Pretty interesting stuff. I also get their "Cinecast AV" video podcast, in which they give their Overlooked DVD Picks of the Week.
  
• "Distorted View Daily": Local boy (Columbus, OH) does good. This show can be pretty obnoxious and gross, but damn funny.
  
• "Tiki Bar TV": This video podcast humorously gives you a mixed drink recipe in each episode. Featuring this week's Crush (and THSE's Crush of the Year) Lala.
  
• "Vegas in 5" and "The Vegas Minute" (video): Put out by the fine folks at Vegas.com, these podcasts let me know what's the haps in Sin City. Brandi Williams makes me glad that I got a video iPod.
  
• "FOXCAST: Family Guy": The people behind the show provide a commentary for the week's episode.
  
• "Ebert & Roeper": Because I can never remember when this show is on TV.
  
• "Meet the Press": In theory, I can sleep in a little longer on Sundays now. But I probably won't.
  
• "WhiskyCast": All about scotch and bourbon. Thanks to this show I found out that I've been mispronouncing "Glenmorangie" and "Glenfiddich" when I've been ordering them. Now I feel like an idiot.
  
• "Martini Shot": A veteran TV writer gives funny essays on Hollywood life.
  
• "Free Talk Live": I just found this libertarian call-in talk show last night. They say that they talk about everything from politics to personal stuff, but in the show that I listened to they pretty much only talked about the War on Drugs.

Now I turn to you, dear readers, for suggestions for interesting podcasts. What I'd really like to find is one that caters to the tin foil hat crowd (conspiracy theorists and paranormal buffs). Art Bell's radio show is on way too late for me to listen to regularly and he charges for his podcasts, so I'd like to find a free alternative. But I'm open to anything you find.

Micah goes legit

Yesterday was a red letter day in that I purchased my first digital download. iTunes is offering an exclusive Christmas EP from blondfire that I've taken a shine to. So I bought it. Now, the cynic in you would say that the only reason why I shelled out legal tender for it was because I couldn't find it elsewhere for free. And the cynic would be right.

Now if I could only find that new Diana Krall Christmas disc on Soulseek...

Crush of the Week: Lala

This week's Crush is Lala from the Tiki Bar TV video podcast. Hailing from the Great White North, she can mix a mean drink. Hot chick, alcohol, and lounge culture. That's what I'm talking aboot.




Now, admittedly, this selection is a bit of a cop out, as she is also THSE's Crush of the Year (I even nabbed the pictures from him - thanks!). But she's a cutie and deserving of being a Crush. Also, I'm kind of busy at the moment, what with compiling my Christmas CD and baking cookies.

Hump Day News Round-Up

• A new study finds that caffeine helps to stimulate short term memory. Wow - in addition to cleaning out my plumbing, coffee will also help me play Simon.
  
• Jewish comedian Jackie Mason essentially says to those offended by Christmas: get over it. Thanks, Mr. Hartounian!
  
• A Chicago cafe caused some controversy when the owner put up a sign saying, "Children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices." As a former busboy, I applaud the move.
  
• The cardboard box has been added to the Toy Hall of Fame. Incidentally, my Christmas buying list has gotten a heck of a lot cheaper.

"Christmas is not only getting too commercial, it's getting too dangerous."

This is the 40th anniversary of "A Charlie Brown Christmas". I'll be watching it tonight, even though I own the DVD. There's something about watching it live each year, although with the movie from CBS to ABC you lose the Peter Paul Mounds and Almond Joy commercials. But this is the Ultimate Christmas Special: jazz, Jesus, and an anti-commercialization message - not something that would get greenlit today.

In the meantime, here's an article and some Peanuts trivia (courtesy of the Columbus Dispatch):

Q: Do the dancing girls have names?
A: The twin sisters, from the comic strip in the 1960s, are dubbed Three and Four. They have an older brother, Five. Their last name: 95742 - also their ZIP code. Their father so named them to protest the reduction of human lives to statistics.

Q: What does Charlie Brown's dad do for a living?
A: He works as a barber, as did the father of cartoonist Charles Schulz.

Q: How many siblings does Snoopy have?
A: He has a sister, Belle, and four brothers - Spike, Marbles, Olaf and Andy (at the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm).

Q: How did the creators give the teachers wahwah voices in the TV specials?
A: They used a trombone with a plunger for a mute.

Q: Who boasts the naturally curly hair?
A: Frieda.

Q: Is the Little Red-Haired Girl ever called anything else?
A: Schulz didn't name or picture her in the comic strip, but the animators of the TV special It's Your First Kiss, Charlie Brown (1977) did - Heather.

Q: How old were the children heard in the Christmas special?
A: Charlie Brown was voiced by 8-year-old Peter Robbins; and Linus, by 7-year-old Christopher Shea. The others ranged from 6 to 9.

One for the dream journal

I only remember literally 2 or 3 of my dreams per year. Sometimes that's a good thing (no nightmares), sometimes it's bad (do I even have dreams that are a bit caliente?). And when I do remember them, they are usually made up of mundane stuff - I go to school. That's it. Lame. But two nights ago I had a vivid one that was kind of interesting. The kind that you think is real when you wake up.

So, I go to the movies, expecting to buy a ticket for a film that isn't playing at the theater. I ask the manager about it and he says it is in limited release and hasn't made it there yet, but proceeds to give me a copy of the movie on VHS. It is called Beta Ray Bill, which is named after the minor Marvel Comics character, despite the fact that the movie wasn't a "comic book movie." BRB only has tenuous connection, in that there's one flashback scene of him eating the Hammer of Odin and then disappearing because of it. Weird. Anyway, it turns out that it is a humorous heist film and opens with a mix of slacker 20-something English and American actors disguised as Monty Python gumbies (and talking like them), stealing some rare books. They make it out of the heist only to have paint explode on them. Turns out, some of their friends were all dressed up in black and shot them with paintball guns. The credits roll and the only names I can remember are David Spade and Chris Rock (and neither appeared in my dream). Later on in the story the core group of robbers are pursued by aliens that look like humans (some of them hot chicks). They hang out in a bar. One of the girls (who's attractive) drinks a beer alone at the bar and sings a song to herself. The song is one that's currently a hit in the UK, very catchy. And I don't know what it is or even the melody - I don't even know if it's a real song. Then there's something about Red Bull and an acoustic guitar. There's even a sex scene involving two alien women and two of the guys, but it's played for laughs. Overall, the movie had an "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" meets Ocean's Eleven meets Dude, Where's My Car? as directed by Guy Ritchie vibe.

And then I woke up 3 minutes before my alarm was to go off.

I have no clue what this dream is supposed to mean or why I dreamt it. I can piece together a few clues: I had watched Ocean's Twelve that day. My personal history is steeped in comic book and Monty Python geekery. Beta Ray Bill...VHS. I had a shot that contained Red Bull over the weekend. I dunno.

"Dreams, they complicate my life" - R.E.M.

So, armchair Freuds, do your worst.

I'm taking the phone off of the hook tonight from 10 to 11

And this is why.

Yet another reason why I'll be sending my kids to private school

Allis Elementary School in Madison gave an assignment to its 3rd graders: write 12 letters to other students, Wisconsin's U.S. senators and representatives, President Bush, and the secretary-general of the United Nations encouraging them to end the war in Iraq.

Regardless of your stance on the war, you've got to realize that this is really upsetting. Anti-war, pro-war, whatever - a teacher's role is not to indoctrinate. Politics should be left out of the classroom, especially in regards to teaching young children. Luckily, the assignment was rescinded.

I knew it!

In other news, the Buckeyes are Fiesta Bowl bound. OSU vs. Notre Dame? That's going to be huge. The only thing bigger would be OSU against Texas...and we all know how that turned out.

As a Hokie fan, I feel terrible for Virginia Tech having to watch unranked Florida State get their BCS bid. But they brought it on themselves. What the hell happened in that game last night? Seriously, that's not rhetorical. I was at a bar and, while I could see it on the screen, I was distracted by copious amounts of alcohol and women shaking their thangs to "My Humps."

This is your brain on Jager

I ended my self-imposed social exile last night when KtG and D-Lovely rolled into town.


Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger...

I also discovered my foosball prowess. Much love to my teammates KtG and Fraley. We are the champions.

Now that's my kind of race

Today is the New Las Vegas Marathon:

Muhammad Ali is scheduled to join local dignitaries at the starting line on the Las Vegas Strip. And organizers promise at least 40 running Elvises, up to 26 couples married at a runthrough wedding chapel, dozens of showgirls, Santa Claus and 16 venues with live entertainment to help keep runners' legs moving for 26.2 fast, flat miles back to the casinos.

That's one way to lively up this sport. Interesting that they are closing the Strip, but Sunday morning's not really a peak traffic time there since everyone's in church.

Is formal the new casual?

I went to Target last night to pick up a red bow (for the grill of my car) and some Christmas tree ornaments. Nothing really screamed "Micah" - you know: martini shakers, penguins, nekkid ladies - but I did pick up a blue, metallic reindeer and a stained glass margarita, despite the fact that I'm not a fan of that particular libation. Hallmark had some cool Darth Vader and Scarlett & Rhett ornaments, but I'm not in a position to spend $18.95 on a single tree decoration. But I digress.

Looking at some normally reasonably-priced clothing at Target, I saw that they now offer cashmere scarves, French cuff shirts and cuff links. Yes, at Target. Interesting. The store I love has become even better. Will I soon be picking up a new CD, a case of bottled water, and a Coach briefcase on my next shopping trip there?

Fire Cooper

Courtesy of these fine folks.

"Mush into mush" update: an anti-Cooper website has been made, as well as an online petition. I implore all current University of Richmond students, alumni, and friends of the school to visit the former and sign the latter. Cooper's had his turn and he's been ineffective. It's now time for Richmond to get back on the right track.

A shared philosophy

"Television is supposed to connect me with things that I don't see everyday, like hot chicks or extraterrestrials." - Avid MW reader/commenter THSE on turning on his TV and unexepectedly seeing "The Biggest Loser"