Crush of the Week: Ginnifer Goodwin

This week's Crush is actress Ginnifer Goodwin, who played Johnny Cash's first wife Vivian in Walk the Line.



I didn't realize it until I Googled her name after watching the movie, but she also played nerdy-yet-cute (yeah, glasses) teen Diane on "Ed" - a show that really needs a DVD release. Never has a program used the "musical montage" device so consistently and successfully.

Hump Day News Round-Up

• If it walks like a Christmas tree and talks like a Christmas tree: House Speaker Dennis Hasbert recommended that the name of the "Capitol Holiday Tree" (dubbed such during the PC fervor of the Clinton era) revert back to "Capitol Christmas Tree." Kudos to you, sir.
  
• A peanut butter allergy-addled Canadian teen was killed after a kiss from her boyfriend, who had just consumed a PB&J sandwich. My first thought (comic book nerd alert): that dude's Rogue!
  
• A Pennsylvania woman has been arrested after she tried to poison her family by adding bleach to the family's mac & cheese dinner. Mmmmmm...Kraft Bleach and Macaroni. It's the bleachiest!
  
• A Bosnian town erected a shiny statue of Bruce Lee (cool), only to have it vandalized hours later (not cool).

This makes Clark W. Griswold feel woefully inadequate

The Rockefellear Center Christmas tree (live cam) gets lit tonight, but in the meantime check out this streaming video (make sure your sound's on). Classy!

Okay, I'll just take three maids a-milkin'

The True Cost of the 12 Days of Christmas as calculated by PNC Financial Services Group has risen 6% this year, to $18,348.87. If you want to purchase the total quantity of items as mentioned in the song, it'll run you $72,608. My Christmas list doesn't seem so pricey now.

Requiem for Mr. Miyagi

R.I.P. Pat Morita, 1932-2005.



You're waxing on, waxing off, and painting the fence in a better place now.

Popping my tag cherry

I've been doing the blog for almost a year now and only received my first "tag" last week while on holiday (thanks, law fairy). So, here goes...

Here's how you play this one:

1. Go into your archives.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Post the fifth sentence (or closest to it).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same thing.

This post only contained two lines and a snowy picture of my front yard: If this isn't hot chocolate and peppermint schnapps weather, I don't know what is.

Tagged: Kate I, Kate II, spydrz, jasdye, and panthergirl. Here's hoping I didn't kill any friendships by doing this.

Does Bill Gates give me money now or this totally unrelated to that chain e-mail?

They're playing basketball

I've got a college basketball jones and the itch is finally being scratched. The best sport on God's green earth has started and we're all better for it. Tonight I commence watching. Pizza? Check. Diet Dr. Pepper? Check. VA Tech at Ohio State? Check.

My bold prediction: even though it's a "rebuilding season" at Richmond*, the Spiders are going to go all the way. If they can beat McNeese State, Duke shouldn't be a problem.

*But aren't they all?

A dog only my mom could love

Buddy getting a bath.

Also, ignorance is bliss. I had a wonderful time visiting the fam, in part because I shunned the news. No Fox or CNN, no Glenn or Rush*. Newspapers? P'shaw! I only checked out the haps for weather and sports info. It's amazing how great life can be when you aren't bombarded with bad news.

*Ok, so I watched one WWBT evening news broadcast, but that was just to check out the Dream Team (Gene, Sabrina, Jim, and Ben). It's a nostalgia thing, as they've been together since I was a wee lad.

Tryptophantastic

I'm back. My trip took 9 hours rather than the normal 7.5. I was going to put up the Christmas tree this evening, but I'm tuckered out. Plus, I'm still recovering from my 7100 calorie food coma. Tomorrow I'll "make more blog," respond to comments and whatnot. In the meantime, take a gander at what I was following in West Virginia, while stuck in bumper-to-bumper Seemingly-Everyone-In-The-Mid-Atlantic-Region-Wants-To-Go-To-Ohio holiday traffic.



Shhhhhhh! It's sleeping.

Over the river (Olentangy) and through the woods (West Virginia)...

Okay, folks. In the morning I'll be heading to Virginia (state motto: "Virginia Is For Lovers...And Micah") for Turkey Week. I've front-loaded the blog with a bunch of posts, so you'll have stuff to comment on for the next day or two. I need to finish up my laundry and pack, after having a minor setback (about an hour in I realized my first of three loads was "fluffing" and not "drying"). It's going to be a late night.

I'll try to post from the Commonwealth, from the local Panera Bread, although I try to avoid the mall area this time of year. Maybe I'll just use my brother's snazzy new cable internet hookup.

Crush of the Week: This woman

This week's Crush is a woman in a newspaper ad that ran every day for the past month. The ad was promoting some event at a local mall.



All I know about her is that she seems to enjoy wine, grand pianos, and commerce. I need to find a classy woman like that.

Y'all can stop trying. We've reached home breakfast sandwich preparation perfection.

I want an egg and muffin toaster. This device could quite possibly be the pinnacle of human achievement.

Mush into mush

This is mainly for the University of Richmond peeps who visit the blog. From the Dad-Sent-Me-This-Newspaper-Clipping-In-The-Mail File: Pres. Cooper says the school needs to attract a better class of student because it had previously been turning "mush into mush". His exact words:

"The entering quality of our student body needs to be much higher if we are going to transform bright minds into great achievers instead of transforming mush into mush, and I mean it."

ARRRRRGH!!!! His excuse (noted in the linked story) is weak. I can't stand this guy. He laments our school having a poor donor base, but then says crap like this about my fellow alumini and does bone-headed things like removing the co-ordinate system. Other than the obvious financial reasons, that's why I don't give to the school (aside from the $50 Annual Fund I specifically instruct to be given to WDCE). When he's gone (and I get a decent paying job), my level of giving will jump dramatically.

It just needs a little love, that's all

Ladies and gentlemen, the upside down Christmas tree.



It was designed, in part, to provide more space for presents. I don't know why everyone just can't use my family's solution:



A present- and tree-dedicated room, complete with a narrow walkway for shimmying.

I can't wait to get sick!

I recently saw a commercial for SudaCare Shower Soothers and they seem very interesting. I'm actually looking forward to my inevitable Winter Sickness (kind of).

Yes, that is a candy cane in my pocket*

To curb pedophilia accusations in Switzerland, children have been banned from sitting on Santa's lap. Why is it that the Society of St Nicholases (tee-hee!) has stricter rules than the Catholic church?

*This was almost titled "You'll shoot your eye out," but that's just wrong.

Requiem for Eddie Guerrero

R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero.



You were too beautiful for this world. Especially when you had your mullet.

Dr. Cox brings the funny

I've been watching the second season of "Scrubs" lately and that show's got to be one of the funniest ever broadcast. Case in point:

"Do you know how I know that this is yours, Farrah? 'Cause when I paged you earlier, someone found it next to a can of Fresca and a dog-eared copy of Teen People magazine." - Dr. Cox, telling J.D. he found his pager

(I love Fresca.)

I think the ACLU programmed my iPod

I ripped about 20-30 Christmas CDs and inputted them into my iPod over the weekend. In doing so, I saw that the genre of every song was labelled "Holiday." So, I changed each of the songs to a "Christmas" label (which is not a pre-loaded genre in iTunes). Now, this is not something to get infuriated and write your Congressman about, but I did find it kind of vexing. If you are already playing your own Christmas music in iTunes, would you be the type to be offended by the use of the word "Christmas"? If so, you must be a very conflicted person.

Culturing up this place (a bit)

My workday currently consists of scanning a seemingly endless amount of legal paperwork and financial documents, but every now and then something odd will come along to break up the day. A few days ago it was a book from an art museum. I spent a good deal of time browsing it (and not "working").


"Drunken Silenus" by Jusepe de Ribera

It's like I'm looking in a mirror (I often party with Satyrs). There were a few other paintings that caught my eye, but I can't seem to find them online. It's been almost a year since I last went to the Columbus Museum of Art and may check it out again shortly. Anyway, it's nice to have the monotony of work broken up periodically, even if my daily quota suffers.

I went to a party last night (Buckeye football, BBQ, and Jager bombs) and totally dominated another game of "Shout About Movies" AND a few rounds of "Scene It (TV Edition)." Yep, I'm also a pop culture master. I need a life.

Just Cos

A Jell-O Pudding Pop.

Forever in khakis

The Neil is back and better than ever. Like he did with Johnny Cash, producer Rick Rubin works his magic and resurrects a once-great artist (as the Columbus Dispatch wrote, "the figure skater shirts are gone"). This is one stellar set of songs. Buy this album! Well, maybe you should wait until after all of Sony's duplicitous DRM stuff is sorted out.

How great is this album? Well, I postponed buying Revenge of the Sith so I could have money to pick it up. Okay, maybe that's not the greatest endorsement...

And yet they included "River of Dreams"

In ripping CDs so I can fill up my iPod, I've noticed something that's amiss. How in good conscience can Sony title an album The Essential Billy Joel when it doesn't include arguably his best song - "Scenes From An Italian Restaurant"? I wish I knew what happened to my copy of his Greatest Hits Vol. 1 & 2...

Crush of the Week: Jenna Fischer

This week's Crush is actress Jenna Fischer, who plays Pam on "The Office." Hilarious show, cute woman.



Sure, she's not striking, but there's something about her. Maybe her "averageness" makes her seem more attainable. I dunno.

Hump Day News Round-Up

• A species of lemur has been named after John Cleese. I think a newt would've been a better choice.
  
• Michael Jackson caused a stir when he was seen applying makeup in a public women's restroom in the United Arab Emerites. Make your own joke.
  
• Bruce Willis is offering $1 million to anyone who turns in al-Qaeda terrorist leaders. The terrorists will then get walk-on parts in Hudson Hawk II. (He gets respect for questioning why the good things happening in Iraq are going underreported.)
  
• McDonald's Japan added shrimp burgers to its menu. I'm simultaneously repulsed and intrigued.
  
• The Columbus Blue Jackets acquired aging hockey legend Sergei Federov. Now maybe they'll win a game or two.

Here in my car I feel safest of all

After 21 days, about 670 miles, and $76.38 in gas, I was finally able to ditch the rental '94 Jeep and get my beloved Jetta back from the body shop. Since the car was sitting for so long, the battery died and they had to jumpstart it a while back. In doing so, they blew out the radio fuse.

It was weird driving my car again. It's so low to the ground! The steering wheel is so far away! The driving experience is actually pleasant! I'm glad I can return to letting my car idle in the garage overnight. Listening to CD-Rs will be nice. And most importantly, given the cold snap we're in, butt warmers!

And, surprisingly, no one at the body shop stole my U2 CDs. Damn, I love the guitar solo in "The Fly." It was a good day (because none of my homies died).

Apparently, just wanting your car back is too much to ask for

I got the call from the body shop this morning that the insurance company's payment came through and my car was ready for pick up, after being held hostage for 20 days. That made my morning, as I absolutely despise the 1994 Jeep Cherokee that they rented to me. So, I gassed it up (yet, again) over my lunch break and made the trip to the southside after work. My Jetta's bumper looked really nice. I get in and - horror of horrors - the radio doesn't work. ARRRRRRRRGHHHH!!!

They are keeping my car for one more day to see what's wrong with it and I've got the damn Jeep again. On the way home, I realized I left a couple of U2 CDs in the front seat. Given the fact that the last time I brought my car to this body shop all the change was gone from my ashtray, I fully expect to kiss those discs goodbye. And I'll no doubt have to gas the damn Jeep up one more time before I return it. Frustration.

I'm so glad I picked up the "Scrubs" season 2 DVDs over lunch today. I could really use a laugh while I eat my sad ramen dinner.

"They were funny while they lasted" or "The final countdown"

Cat-like quickness.

You've no doubt heard by now that FOX has said "don't let the door hit your ass on the way out" to "Kitchen Confidential" and has all but canceled "Arrested Development".

It's really easy to hate FOX, what with their track record of not letting good shows develop ("The Tick") or putting them out to pasture in the infuriating post-NFL Sunday death slot ("Futurama"), but they did pretty much all they could with "Arrested Development." People just weren't watching. It's a shame, too, because that is a hilarious show. "Kitchen Confidential" was promising and it's easier to blame FOX there since its demise comes so prematurely (there's a new episode streaming here).

The one silver lining: these two shows are being replaced with a scripted drama ("Prison Break" reruns) rather than new reality crap.

The observance that choosey mothers choose

In celebration of the food of the gods, November is National Peanut Butter Lovers month. Thanks George Washington Carver!

I'm penniless

Mild-mannered bank by day...

I've been feeding pennies into my Superman bank since I got it in '98 (or maybe it was '97). When I heard that Coinstar had a promotion where they waive the counting fee if you took your money in the form of an Amazon.com gift certificate, I thought it was about time to cash in. My brother and sister each have a birthday this month and that would help. Plus, I'm already engaged in one tedious activity (two if you count my temp job) to roll all of my pennies, label the rolls with my address and take them to the bank. So I went to the Coinstar kiosk this evening with my 15 lb. son of Jor-El: 2820 pennies, 4 dimes, 2 nickels. I also threw in a Sacagawea dollar that I acquired somewhere along the away. In all, I got $29.70 out of the deal. Not too shabby.

"I'm a hillbilly, I'm a businessman...but mostly I'm just a guy who never understood the word 'cain't'."

Pardon my absence around here for the past day or so. I bought a spiffy new iPod* (which makes my old mp3 player look like a brick) and let me tell you that burning a ton of CDs, downloading their artwork, and putting the songs on the device is time consuming. I don't keep much music on my computer, so I'm doing this all from scratch. In a little over 24 hours I've put 1150 songs (3.91 GB) on it.

So, in the meantime, enjoy this graduate thesis I found, which is about one of my favorite canceled shows - "The Ben Stiller Show" (I've been watching the DVDs a lot lately). It kinda reminds me of my sociology paper on Terminator 2.

*Micah World "Stick It To The Man" Tip: To get an educational discount, a student ID is only as valid as you believe it to be.

Micah never has a second cup at home...

Four words: Pumpkin Spice Coffee-Mate

Happy Veterans Day

Veterans, I honor you for your service and thank you for giving me the day off from work.

Linden Boulevard, represent represent

Well, my music geek list lost by 3 votes in Round 3 of the game. I expected as much, since I was up against a lot of classic albums (most of which I like/love - including my all-time fave Beatles album, Revolver). Many thanks to all of y'all that lurked, but didn't vote. :)

Crush of the Week: Charlotte Church

This week's Crush is Welsh singer (formerly classical, now tarted up pop) Charlotte Church. I'm not familiar with her music, but she is quite easy on the eyes.


Singers should have good lung capacity.

Now, I realize I'm treading on Creepy Old Man territory here, but my rule of thumb is if a woman is on the cover of GQ, she's fair game. The animated GIF that originally piqued my interest is here (let it load, folks). I love classical music!

You can wear my clothes

Quite unexpectedly, my music geek list has made it to Round 3 (by one vote). I'm up against some heavy competition. This may get ugly.

Hump Day News Round-Up

• Jack Nicklaus (along with Muhammad Ali, Aretha Franklin, and others) recieved the Presidential Medal of Freedom today. Way to go, Golden Bear.
  
• You can make your own joke about the man glued to a Home Depot toilet seat (although his case may be in the crapper).
  
• Speaking of toilets, there's not much more I can add about the Carolina Panthers cheerleaders who had sex with each other in the can. Just glancing at their mug shots: the blonde's cute; the other, not so much. And it would've been a funnier story if two football players were making sweet, sweet love in the men's room.
  
• When suspended football player and multimillionaire Terrell Owens ordered a pizza, delivery man James McDevitt left his $5 tip at the front door because TO "needs to feed his family." Sarcastic comedy is alive and well in Philly.
  
• Even though there wasn't a sports championship victory or loss, Islamic youths continue to throw Grey Goose molotov cocktails at LeCars, forcing the socialist cheese-eating surrender monkeys to tighten their grip and surrender harder. "Haw haw haw, Lt. Steve." "Ha ha ha, Frenchy."

"Beets suck. You should grow something everyone likes. Grow candy."

If you're not watching "The Office", you're a sucka. I'd say it is easily my favorite show this season (keep in mind "Scrubs" and "24" have not yet aired) and is even better than it was in its first season.

A quote from last week's episode: "I come from a long line of fighters, my maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran. He killed twenty men and then spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp... My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life... different kind of fight."

Classic.

This bed is on fire with passion and love

My album picks made it to Round 2. I think it was the inclusion of Laid* by James that swayed it for me, based on some of the comments. Truly a classic.

*The title track has one of the funniest radio edits ever. "She only comes when she's on top" is turned into "She only hums when she's on top." What the heck is that supposed to mean?

Throw the bums out

There's nothing quite like Election Day. And this time it's personal. As you may know, I am greatly opposed to smoking bans. Well, today a couple of the city council members who voted to restrict private property rights in my city are up for re-election. No vote for you! Next!

Also, I urge Ohio votes to nix Issues 2-5.

EDIT: It appears that even though I have a Worthington mailing address, I actually live in Perry Township. So I get no say in the City Council. Rest assured, I'm sending mental "no votes" to the pro-smoking ban candidates.

Yet another reason why I want Hef's job

The latest issue of Playboy arrived in the mail today and this month's Playmate (Christine Smith) - Wow. Just wow. I approve.



Yarr, she'll keep my men from resorting to homosexuality...for about 10 minutes.

The height of music geekery

There's a game being played on an internet forum that I spend way too much time on. It's sort of a fantasy league for music geeks where each player "drafts" ten albums and then competes to see who has the best album collection. Yeah, I told you it was geeky (but no geekier than fantasy sports). Anyway, here is my roster:

1. Velvet Underground: Peel Slowly and See [box set]
2. Beastie Boys: Paul's Boutique
3. The Flaming Lips: Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots (Deluxe CD+DVD)
4. Matthew Sweet: Girlfriend
5. The Cure: Disintegration
6. Pulp: Different Class
7. A Tribe Called Quest: Midnight Marauders
8. The Postal Service: Give Up
9. Helmet: Meantime
10. James: Laid

Some albums that I really wanted (Revolver, Skylarking, Stone Roses' debut, etc.) were drafted before I could pick them, but I think I made some good selections. So, if you wanna help a brother out, you can go to the game and vote for me (I'm "DJLinus" in Round 5).

When drink's in, wit's out

I'm not falling for the hysteria, but all this talk of the bird flu has got me thinking. So, in the event that I succumb to the virus, I share with you a couple of funeral arrangements that I want made:

• There has to be a bagpiper playing "Amazing Grace." Maybe another song or two, but that hymn's the biggie.
  
• I want someone to sing Warren Zevon's "Keep Me In Your Heart". Don't care who. Just somebody.
  
• Most importantly, I want my funeral to be a PARTY. Eat some good food, drink some fine adult beverages. Maybe break out the Trivial Pursuit. Just have fun.

So, y'all have been put on notice. And if the above isn't carried out, I'll haunt each and every one of you from beyond the grave.

Please forgive the morbid thoughts. You can pin it on the fact that, as a cost cutting measure, I've been eating literally the same damn food for the past two weeks: a cheap microwaveable meal and a couple of spoonfuls of peanut butter for lunch, grilled cheese sandwiches (and maybe some soup) for dinner. It's amazingly inexpensive, but grows quite old very quickly.

Clever title, huh? Serious subject matter, a Scottish proverb, and I'm currently drinking several wee drams of single malt Scotch. It works on so many levels.

Well played

Just for Dubin: I switched on the Michigan State-Purdon't game just as MSU forced a fumble and ran it back for a touchdown. Nice.

On a another note, we'll see if Ohio State can cover the 34 point spread over Illinois today. That's a huge line, but this is the Buckeyes we're talking about. I'll be holding my breath until the clock runs out.

65 tons of American pride

Okay, maybe I was a bit hasty in writing off SUVs. I mean, who doesn't want one of these:


Endorsed by Krusty.

Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
Smells like a steak, and seats thirty five?
Canyonero! Canyonero!
Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown
Canyonero! Canyonero!
Hey, hey!
Twelve yards long, two lanes wide,
Sixty five tons of American pride!
Canyonero! Canyonero!
Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!
Canyonero! Canyonero!
She blinds everybody with her super high beams
She's a squirrel-squashin', deer-smackin' drivin' machine
Canyonero! Canyonero! Canyonero!
Whoa, Canyonero! Whoa!

Snag the song here.

Tonight I drink

Got a good thing going with a drinking problem
I buy the first round with a smile
I talk to myself like I like me
And blame myself after a while
-Gerald Collier, "To Break the Ice"

I'm not in the greatest of moods today, so I'm just going to take out the trash, do the laundry, and drink heavily. Maybe I'll watch Coyote Ugly or something. Blog amongst yourselves.

The jingle jangle has begun

For those wanting a 24 hour Christmas music fix, look no further than the internet arm of a Columbus radio station that plays "music the whole office can agree on" (shoot me). Peep it here.

Today I saw the first Holiday commercial of the season: 27 Christmas Classics by Cristy Lane. I think I'll hold off on that one.

Crush of the Week: Ryan Michelle Bathe

This week's Crush is actress Ryan Michelle Bathe from "Boston Legal". She's new to the show and the producers don't give her too much to do, but damn if she isn't cute.



I had another woman lined up to be this week's Crush, but I just watched this week's Halloween-themed "Boston Legal" and her costume was Condoleeza Rice. Yowza! That pretty much clinched it.

Re-thinking SUVs

Lately, I've been thinking of what kind of car will replace my beloved Jetta many moons from now when I choose to buy a new vehicle. The front-runner is the VW Tourag. Maybe it's the dream of having a family one day or living where snow is plentiful. Perhaps VW's marketing department are popping open champagne bottles for developing my brand loyalty. But whatever the reason, I've been leaning SUV.

Last month my car was backed into while I was visiting friends in VA. Luckily, the college kid who left the gash in my rear bumper also left a note (gotta love Southern hospitality) and his insurance company is taking care of the repairs. So, since last Wednesday I've had a rental while my car's been in the shop: a Jeep Grand Cherokee. And I HATE it. My petty list of grievances:

• The CD player can't play my CD-Rs.
  
• It is is dire need of a tune up, as there are many rattles and noises. It just doesn't feel solid.
  
• The right blinker bulb is out, so I get that annoying double-time click when I signal (which was just remedied on the Jetta - thanks Spydrz).
  
• The antenna is broken, so the radio reception is mostly crap.
  
• The gas gauge bounces all around so I don't know exactly how much is in the tank.
  
• It reeks of cigarette smoke.
  
• The thing guzzles gas faster than Tara Reid at a bar.

Really, the gas thing is annoying. Given the nature of rental car policies, I'm determined not to return it with an ounce more gas in the car than when I received it. So, it's always hovering around 1/8th of a tank in hopes that tomorrow will be the sweet, sweet day when I can get my car back (an aside: I called the body shop to get a status report and they found more extensive damage and are trying to get a supplement from the insurance company. *sigh*). I've literally been putting $5 worth of gas in the Jeep every other freakin' day. I'm at the point now where I will not leave the house unless it is to go to work, the grocery store, or the gas station. I've neglected going to the gym (bad) or frivolous media shopping (good). I'm essentially a shut-in.

It's really making me re-think the whole SUV thing. On one hand, it's expensive as crap to drive around in. On the other, I'm an American and owning an SUV is my birthright. Plus, I've got to keep up with the rest of my family - who own(ed) Range Rovers, Explorers, Jeeps, and Excursions. The only consolation is that at least I didn't get these repairs done a month ago when gas was $3.10/gallon (it was at $2.19 this morning).

Today's big laugh

I was listening to Glenn Beck's radio show on my Walkman like I do every morning and he started it by telling some of the facts behind the rape case of a former Lasalle University basketball player. The victim was at a party, sitting on the guy's lap and talking in detail about how she gave oral sex to one of his teammates. Then she did 8 or 9 shots of 99 proof alcohol, went to the kitchen and vomited in the sink. The player then went into the kitchen and started having sex with her, while another player forced her to give him post-vomit oral sex. The victim admitted to not saying "no," but maintained she was too drunk to say anything. After saying all that, Beck played the ending of "A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow" from A Mighty Wind ("...more precious than a pot of gold"). It may be wrong, but I laughed out loud at work today.

Modern courting is a beautiful and special thing.

"Why aren't you voting? You could be...in grave danger...and I can help you...as your psychic candidate."

Finally! A presidential candidate that we can all rally around - Christopher Walken*.


"Little man..."

I even thought of a great slogan: "He can pull votes out of his ass."

*Yes, I know it is a hoax.

Milk Milk v. Disgusting Candy

Hershey Co. is taking the producers of the "Milkdudz" line of breasfeeding clothes (get it?) to court over trademark infringement.

Does anyone actually eat Milk Duds anymore? If so, I feel sorry for you.