Samhain wrap-up

Well, another Halloween has come and gone (or it will in a couple of hours). Time to pack up the decorations and pretend I don't listen to "Monster Mash" or "Thriller" during the other eleven months of the year.

I had 18 kids Trick or Treat at the house. The best costume was a giant olive. A kid with Syndrome of a Down had a kick-ass Batman costume.

I finally got to see the Desperate Housewife (oh, I hope she's desperate) that moved in next door up close. Yummy mummy, as we said in college. I also met her husband.

Because I bought 6 bags of candy, I am left with a metric shit-ton of it left. If I had a Delorean, I'd go back in time and give each kid 1/3 of a bag.

Currently, I have two specials on exorcisms and The Exorcist: The Beginning sitting unwatched on my DVR. I'm saving them to watch during daylight hours this weekend because I'm a wuss.

I've had the Halloween theme playing on a constant loop at the front door since 6 pm. I am REALLY sick of it and will shut it off as soon as I post this.

I'm going to have to pull some serious gym overtime because of all this candy consumption. I'm going to start tonight. Okay, maybe not.

I called the fam back in VA and heard about my nephews and niece's night. They were an army man, a cardboard box, and a ladybug, respectively. My mom's new puppy was a pumpkin. My sister was Frenchy from Grease. Seeing them all on Halloween is one of the main reasons that I want to move back.

And here's a totally random, barely relevant "Arrested Development" quote because I'm in the mood (due to watching the 2nd season DVDs every night for the past week):

Michael: So, this is the magic trick, huh?
GOB: 'Illusion', Michael. A 'trick' is something a whore does for money. (*sees the children right next to him*) Or candy!

How the Grinch stole Halloween

A Newton, MA, school has canceled Halloween because three (3) parents complained. Now, I'm as Christian as they come, but I don't think celebrating this holiday is going to turn our society into something out of The Wicker Man. What's next? Getting rid of Saturnalia?

Later in the year the school plans a costume celebration in which teachers and perhaps students will be encouraged to dress as their favorite literary characters.

Yeah, that's gonna be a lot of fun.

I got a rock.

Happy Halloween!



Letting the children inside to drink beers
Razor blades hidden in Three Musketeers
Screams from the basement of kids begging to be set free
That's what Halloween means to me
-Stephen Lynch, "Halloween"

As a treat for you, I've made some funny Halloween-themed copyrighted material available for download:
-Patton Oswalt stand-up bit
-Stephen Lynch's "Halloween" song
-Jerry Seinfeld stand-up bit
-David Sedaris's essay "Us and Them"

Enjoy!

Why I love Halloween

Why do I love Halloween? Is it seeing the joy on a children's faces when they're given candy? Nope. More like all of the women in sexy costumes.


Nice.

"Schoolgirl" is a personal fave of mine.

Rosemary's baby doll

These dolls are just so wrong.


He has his father's eyes.

Yet I'm tempted to buy one for my nephew for Christmas because it would really freak him out.

This year's model

What does daylight savings time, "Meet the Press" and a hot cup of coffee produce? Apparently, a "just okay" jack-o-lantern.



I've done better, but at least I have something to put outside the front door. Now I'm off to buy candy. Hope the kids like Nickers, Butterthumbs, and M&N's.

Vrinnn vrinnn vrinnnnnnnnn

I caught the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake on cable tonight. It wasn't all that great, but it wasn't completely terrible, either (Roger Ebert gave it zero stars). Of course, I've never seen the original, so I didn't have that bias going into it.



But, it was worth it just to see Jessica Biel prance around for 98 minutes. Oddly enough, though, I don't think she has nipples. How else can you explain the wet, cold meatlocker scene?

She did it for the kiddies

A Delaware woman committed suicide by hanging herself on a tree, but it went unreported for hours because people thought she was a Halloween decoration.

Note to self: reassess the location of my December suicide where I dress up like Santa and slit my wrists with a candy cane.

Halloween flashback

I'm not dressing up for Halloween this year (my Shaun of the Dead "I Got Wood" t-shirt may turn off the parents of the kids I hand candy out to), but I thought that I'd share my favorite costume. I've been many things: Yoda, Indiana Jones, Ed Grimley, Charlie Brown. But the best was from a couple of years ago...the Hedgehog himself, pornography legend Ron Jeremy.



And the lower half:



I was pretty smashed at that particular party, but according to reports, I thrust myself on pretty much all of my female friends. I'm a class act, I tells ya.

'Tis not quite the season

Okay, I'll fess up. I broke out the Christmas music two days ago. Normally, I wait until mid-November (see, I make a Christmas music compilation CD each year and that takes time to burn the CDs, design the packaging, and mail them out). But for some reason I just got a hankering to listen to the holiday albums from Barenaked Ladies and Chris Isaak. Funny enough, that very same day, my brother e-mailed me saying he started listening to Christmas music, too. He even sent me a new song that he recorded ("When the Snow Falls"). Must be something weird with our family.

Jack loves Mark

I haven't bought my pumpkin yet, but here's a pic of last year's.

Welcome Rachael Harris fans

Well, there's a new version of VH1's "I Love the 80s"* this week and you know what that means: 98% of my hits have been obsessives, like myself. Seriously, I'm getting crazy mad page views because of her. Turns out RH's Crush picture is the #3 Google Image Search result. How cool is that?

*Frankly, I'm unimpressed thus far.

Another year, another World Series sweep

Congratulations to the White Sox. I'd much prefer the Orioles or Nationals to have won the World Series, but at least it wasn't the Yankees (that's what I'll be thankful for this Thanksgiving). Now I can finally go to bed.

Crush of the Week: Elvira

This week's Crush is Elvira. Hey, who else would I pick for Halloween?


Unpleasant dreams.

Did watching her show when I was a kid create my booby obsession? Only my shrink knows for sure.

Hump Day News Round-up

• Authorities suspect that dogs mauled a newborn infant in Portsmouth, OH. I'd make a "maybe a dingo ate your baby" quip, but that'd be in bad taste.
  
• WNBA player Sheryl Swoopes comes out of the closet. Lesbians in the WNBA?! Now I've heard everything.
  
• More than $1 billion worth of marijuana was confiscated in Kentucky this year. No word on if the grass was blue.
  
• Beth Holloway-Twitty (mother of the missing Aruba chick) spoke in Ohio today, saying that the "best case scenario" is that her daughter was kidnapped and gang raped. You know, I've never heard the terms "best case scenario" and "gang raped" used in the same sentence (no link; I heard it on the radio).

Quick Movie Reviews: "Two for the Money" and "Wallace & Gromit"

Two for the Money: Not great, but enjoyable. Al Pacino keeps up his delivery where he talks normally and THEN STARTS YELLING. Jeremy Piven continues to spin (Ari) gold with every role he gets. And you get to see Jaime King's body double get all nekkid 'n stuff.

Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit: Scary as hell! Despite its liberal pinko commie anti-hunting/pro-vegan agenda, I loved it. Very funny. Hutch is my new favorite W&G character (after the Evil Penguin, of course). Biggest laugh: "May contain nuts."

Cowboy Curtis and I are tight

Apparently, Laurence Fishburne and I are two peas in a pod. Who knew?

God is my co-defendant

A Romanian inmate is suing God for "cheating, abuse, and traffic of influence." Yeah, good luck with that, buddy.

Dum ditty dum ditty ditty dum dum

I love classic hip-hop. With some exceptions, the best commercial stuff coming out today cannot hold a candle to what was produced up until - oh, I don't know - 1993. Run-DMC introduced me, along with every other white suburban kid, to the genre. So, when I saw Rev Run's solo debut Distortion on Best Buy's shelf, I thought "Hell, yeah!"

Now, Run-DMC are not infallible (Crown Royale, anyone? Thought not.), so there's a chance that this album could suck royally. But I'm lovin' it! It felt almost like I was listening to my brother's dubbed copy of Raising Hell (but, not quite). Run's on fire, although I'm accustomed to him trading lines with DMC. His presence is definitely missed. Same with Jam Master Jay's cutting and scratching. Refreshingly, there's only one producer (Whiteboy) and he channels Rick Rubin effectively. Until Rubin returns to hip-hop full time, Whiteboy will have to keep his seat warm. No guest MCs. No skits. Just good, positive hip-hop.

My complaint: at 27 minutes, it is ridiculously short and leaves you wanting more. But I picked this up for $8, so I don't feel ripped off. Also, Run's new image with the cape: kinda silly.

All that was missing was the Nitro Girls

I'm not really into professional wrestling anymore, but I used to be in college. We'd have Monday night get-togethers to watch "Nitro" and "Raw." Nowadays, I'll catch the Big Events (i.e., Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania), but that's about it. I have to depend on a friend of mine to get me caught up on the storylines and new faces. But he's all but ditched the WWE and moved onto something new...

Last night I went to he and his wife's house to watch the TNA Wrestling pay-per-view. To my surprise, it had some of the "sports-entertainment" guys I used to watch way back when: Jeff Jarrett, Konan, Raven, Kevin Nash. Larry Zybisco is even the commissioner. Lots of overacting, distracted referees, broken tables, greasy hair, and high-flying action. Yeah, it was a good time.

One nitpick: For an organization that calls itsef "TNA," the eye candy was definitely lacking. That's one area where the WWE prevails.

We joked last night that I should write my Congressman to inform him of the rampant cheating that is going on in professional wrestling. I'm tempted to do it, but will I be placed on some "kook list"?

Issue One: I have no life

It's Friday night. I'm in my PJs, watching "The McLaughlin Group", and browsing the new iPod on the internet. I may start a new book. Ladies, I'm available!

I can't wait to see "Sleeping Persun of Better-Than-Average Attractiveness"

A London drama troupe will be performing Snow White, but there's one big change: dwarves will be referred to as "gnomes" or "guardians of the forest." Reality inches closer to parody*.

*Funny book.

Abbey Road, sumo style

Mad props, yo.

And in the end the love you make is equal to the space you take up.

Please welcome...

My new hoody Greenhorn. If you know me, you know that a hoody is part of my standard autumn/winter apparel and I'm happy to get another one. He is the product of an ambiguous K-Mart ad* and joins my other zip-up hoodies Graybeard, Blueball, Spiderboy, and the Professor. Excelsior!

*The ad said "30% off" and then "$6." It rang up as $12, which was 30% (or $6) off the original price. But I interpreted the ad to say that the sale price was $6. And I won. I rule.

Jump the turnstile, never pay the toll...

I just thought this picture was funny. Four sumo wrestlers from Amsterdam, Norway, and Hawaii terrorize the NYC subway system.

Scandanavian sumo wrestlers?!

Crush of the Week: Deborah (Debbie) Gibson

This week's Crush is former teen pop star and current Broadway belter Deborah "Debbie" Gibson. She was lookin' gooooood on the "Great Things About Being..." special I blogged about. I had a thing for her in the '80s. I have a thing for her now.


Shake my love.

Trivia: DG appeared in Ghost Busters as "Birthday Girl in Tavern on the Green."

Reach out and touch faith

I listened to Depeche Mode's latest CD - Playing the Angel - in its entirety while at the gym last night and, I must say, I'm impressed. It's a return to electronic form after the foray into live instrumentation over their last few albums. Not that I didn't like their more organic stuff (in fact, Songs of Faith and Devotion is one of my all-time favorite albums), but synthesizers are the band's bread and butter. And the songs are all really strong. It's no Violator, but it's no Ultra, either. So buy the damn album!

Great Things About Being Micah

I love pop culture lists, especially if they include snarky commentary. VH-1's "I Love the (insert decade here)" specials are right up my alley. Ego Trip's Book of Rap Lists and Big Book of Racism! are fun reads. I'm a sucker for meaningless and arbitrary best/worst pieces in magazines. Well, I found another good one: "Great Things About Being...", Bravo's new five part special. Each one is devoted to a different topic: blonde, red state, queer, fat, and 30.

Hey, I'm 3 out of 5. That ain't bad.

The zombie has landed

Just in time for Halloween, Land of the Dead has arrived on DVD (unrated, to boot). For those who haven't seen this - and judging by its box office take, that's pretty much everyone - go pick it up.

How hard is it to snap a pic of a monster truck?

When the alarm went off this morning, a person on the "Today Show" (or maybe it was on the radio...hmmm, it was early) was talking about a scientist offering a $1 million reward for a picture of Bigfoot. I think that's my calling. And when I'm not tracking the elusive beast, I'll solve mysteries and fight crime as I travel the country.

This should pave the way for my musical about Pol Pot

MW favorite Fatboy Slim and former Talking Head David Byrne are collaborating on a musical based on the life of former Philippine first lady Imelda Marcos. As Dave Barry says, I'm not making this up.

Micah World fall movie preview

Well, it's not a preview per se, since some of these movies are already out, but here's what's on my list (in no particular order):

1. Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (out now): The W&G short films are hilarious and Chicken Little was damn funny. Looking forward to getting out to the theater for this one.

2. Elizabethtown (out now): From the description, it sounds a lot like Garden State. I absolutely love that movie, but I'll give this one a chance.

3. Serenity (out now): I want to see this, but feel I should watch all of the TV series first. So, I may have to catch this on DVD somewhere down the line.

4. The Exorcism of Emily Rose (out now): I've blogged about this movie and my wussiness regarding "Satan movies", but have yet to see it. Maybe I'll be in the Halloween spirit and head to the theater. I still have yet to see The Nightmare Before Christmas.

5. Corpse Bride (out now): Tim Burton. Johnny Depp. Stop-motion animation. Necrophilia. Yeah, I'm so there.

6. Waiting (out now): I've been a fan of Ryan Reynolds since "Two Guys and a Girl." This looks like Office Space, only with more dick and fart jokes.

7. The Baxter (out now?): A romantic comedy revolving around the prototypical "nice guy." It got a beat down from the critics, but this movie is a product of the brain trust behind "The State," "Stella," and Wet Hot American Summer, so it naturally made my list. I think it's come and gone, so this looks like a rental.

8. Shopgirl (Oct. 21): Maybe this is foolish, but I'm hoping that Steve Martin will someday go back to making good movies. Could this be this year's Lost in Translation?

9. Jarhead (Nov. 4): I'm prepared to see an anti-war movie (this is Hollywood, after all), but the trailer has me hooked.

10. Walk the Line (Nov. 18): As I am a huge Johnny Cash fan, this is probably my most anticipated movie of the season. The poster is great. I'll be buying that someday, I'm sure.

11. Just Friends (Nov. 23): The aforementioned Ryan Reynolds in a fat suit and a title phrase I've heard too many times. Sold.

12. The Weather Man (Oct. 28): I'll see pretty much anything Nicolas Cage is in.

Just as I didn't see everything on my summer movie list, I'll likely not see everything posted above. But I'm going to try.

I think I'll make it a point to workout on Sunday evenings now

Went to the gym today and who should be occupying the aerobics room, but none other than the Buckeye Dance Force (at least, I think that's who they were). Of course, I went into Lester Burnham Mode and commenced to gawking. I even spent an extra 20 minutes on the stationary bike, waiting for them to file out, to no avail. Hey, when you're in the zone, you're in the zone. I finally left so I could go home, do some laundry and blog about how pathetic I am. My legs are jelly right now, but it was so worth it. Well, not really.

Micah World Pigskin Classic

Today is the Micah World Pigskin Classic: Ohio State vs. Michigan State. The Big Ten's best defense against the Big Ten's best offense. MW Chronic Commentator and MSU vet student TheDubin says OSU will win by 2. I say the Buckeyes will win by 3.

The stakes? Only a bottle of the best supermarket bourbon you can find - Early Times.



Because it's never too late for Early Times. So drop on in and join the fun.

Sweetest Day, Schmeetest Day

Sorry, Hallmark. If I wasn't forced to celebrate it in elementary school in the '80s*, then it ain't a holiday. (Apologies to my Jewish readers - my hometown didn't have many of you folks)

*I specify this decade because I don't think kids are allowed to celebrate Christmas anymore. Or Easter. Or Thanksgiving. Or All Saints Day. Or Pentecost. Or Epiphany. Or the Feast of Cana of Galilee. Or the First Day of the Festival of Tabernacles.

That's totally smurfed up.

WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE SMURF CHILDREN?! A new UNICEF ad campaign shows Smurf Village being bombed while the Smurfs flee in terror. Smurfette even dies. With the lone female dead, how are they supposed to repopulate?

Conveniently missing from the TV spot are images of Gargamel's rape rooms or any hint of his Final Solution-esque plan to eradicate the inferior blue race.

EDIT: The above picture is just screaming to be my desktop wallpaper. Anyone know where I can find a really big version of it?

She's gotta have it

Arkansas resident and sexual intercourse enthusiast Michelle Duggar had her sixteenth child on Tuesday. Johannah Faith joins her brothers and sisters Joshua, John David, Janna, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jeremiah, Jedidiah, Jason, James, Justin, and Jackson Levi.

So, can you tell that these kids are home schooled? The Duggars stated that they want more children, but I think that they are going to run out of Biblical "J" names. I'm pretty sure that they'll have to name the next one "Jesus."

And just because I have to fit in a Simpsons reference, here are Cletus and Brandine's children: Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sascha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, and Phil. The couple also has a smellhound named Geech.

Crush of the Week: Jewel

This week's Crush singer/songwriter/hippy-dippy poetry chick Jewel. I've been crushing on her ever since she first came on the scene. For two obvious reasons. Hell, I even think her fang is cute. She gets bonus points for once dating one of my favorite artists - Steve Poltz (who co-wrote "You Were Meant For Me").


Meant for me.

And I must add, "sell out" move or not, her video for "Intuition": drool.

Happy National Coming Out Day

The closest I'll ever come to being a junkie

Nerd Alert! I have a problem. X-Men Legends has completely consumed my life. It's weird - I don't play video games all that often, but for some reason (my inner comic book geek), I'm hooked on this one. I lost my three day weekend to the game, with breaks only to attend a party, pick up a pizza, and watch a little Skinemax. Calls and e-mails have gone unreturned. My health and well being has been disregarded. Things on my "To Do" list have remained unaccomplished. I stayed up way too late last night, knowing full well I had to get up early for work. Really, though, I can quit playing anytime I want. First Colossus must destroy this Sentinel.

Leave the gun. Take the Cannoli.

"Mmmmmm...New World cocaine."

Since I live in a city that takes its name from the explorer, I feel that I am obligated to say Happy Columbus Day. I hope that you all learn the true meaning of this wonderful holiday. Enjoy your day off (if you have one).

What comes to my mind? A very sub-par episode of "The Sopranos".

Nothing to be really proud of

Further proof that I need a girlfriend, I dominated three games of "Shout About Movies"* at the party last night - one of which was just me against a team of four other people. If only I could use my powers for good.

*Which, incidentally, is hosted by the dude who played "Arthur" on the short-lived, but great show "The Tick".

It's just that easy

So, I was doing some net surfing lately and saw this ad at the top of my screen:



That's kinda creepy. I don't even live in Hilliard (that's where my ISP is routed or something like that). But "tons," you say? Hmmmm....

My favorite poem

Just to show that I am a man of culture, I thought that I'd share my favorite poem. It's by a little known poet who goes by the name of J. Smails:

It's easy to grin
When your ship comes in
And you've got the stock market beat
But the man worthwhile
Is the man who can smile
When his shorts are too tight in the seat

My second favorite is one called "Milk Milk Lemonade."

Big Friday Night: baked goods and mutants and mix CDs, oh my!

A list of things that I plan on accomplishing over the next 24 hours:

• Bake a batch of pumpkin squares for tomorrow's party
  
• Save the world by defeating Magneto
  
• Clean my shoes
  
• Make a mix CD for a friend who just got out of a longterm relationship (aforementioned party is in his honor)
  
• Learn how to smoke my new pipe
  
• File away some papers
  
• Go to the gym
  

Yeah, exciting.

Letting the children inside to drink beers

Stephen Lynch released a new album this week - The Craig Machine. While it contains some gems ("Halloween," "Little Tiny Moustache," "Beelz"), I don't think it is as strong as Superhero or A Little Bit Special. Still worth a listen, though.

Click here to listen to "Vanilla Ice Cream." Who knew that Lych was down with the mochachino?

Whither the hula girls?

The pictures I have on my template aren't loading for me, although you may be able to see them. I was getting pissed at PhotoBucket, as that's where they are hosted. But after a little investigation, it turns out that site is just caught between two big network companies a-fussin' and a-feudin'. Hopefully, this'll all get worked out and the hula girls will dance again.

Holy property damage, Batman!

Bruce Manor burned down in Batman Begins and now it's happened to the real Tudor mansion used in the 1960s TV series.

The corpse of Cesar Romero was reportedly laughing hysterically.

Kinda reminds you of the dead fat guy from "Se7en," doesn't it?

Damn, that's one hungry snake.

Crush of the Week: Linda Cardellini

This week's Crush is actress Linda Cardellini. I've been on a huge "Freaks and Geeks" kick lately (it was criminal that it got canceled) and she was great on that show.


Freak.

She also made a very hot Velma.

"Son of Nic Cage, kneel before Zod"

On Monday, Nicolas Cage's wife gave birth to a baby boy and the couple named him Kal-el. That's right, he was given Superman's Kryptonian name. He's got a lot to live up to.

Still, it's better than naming the kid "Apple."

That's what she gets for getting mixed up with Nihilists

Not a Party Girl.

Master thespian Tara Reid fired her publicist, whom she believes cultivated her party girl image.

Know what's the best way to comabt one's false image as a hard partyer? Have your own (recently canceled) cable TV show devoted solely to partying.

Bush should've nominated Hank Hill

It being High Court season and all, it's probably the best time to dig up this "King of the Hill" chestnut:

Hank: I thought you were busy teaching girls to blow up basketballs. When did this turn into a desire to ruin wrestling?
Peggy: Oh, give me a break. I don't see how having a girl on the team would ruin it. Did a woman judge ruin the Supreme Court?
Hank: Yes, and that woman's name was Earl Warren.

Hank knows where it's at, I'll tell you what.

I've got a nice set of pipes

Well, I'm that much closer to my new hobby.



These belonged to my grandpa and great-grandpa. They are a bit dusty and are caked with, er, cake (carbon build-up). But once I get them cleaned up, I promise to have a post titled "THESE PIPES ARE CLEAN." Until then, I'll probably buy a cheapy pipe and some cheapy tobaccy to see if I want to pursue this endeavor further.

Anyone want to buy this pipe for me? It's banded with ivory from the tusk of a 61,000 year old mammoth. And it's a steal at only $1,650!

How's the hunt for the real killers going, Juice?

Today is the tenth anniversary of the O.J. Simpson trial verdict. I remember exactly where I was when Ito announced it: I skipped my American Literature class so I could watch it in my buddy's dorm room. Later I found out that my professor let us watch the news while in class and I wasted a "skip."

We're going to need a bigger boat. And LOTS of marinara sauce.

The elusive giant squid has finally been photographed. It's about time. I remember investing a couple hours of my valuable time on a program about the hunt for the creature only to have the pursuers foiled again (CURSES!). I swear, it was the biggest TV cocktease since Al Capone's vaults.

Lovely spam, wonderful spam

Okay, I'm such a comment whore that I'm flattered by the spam comments recently, but two in one day is an EPIDEMIC!!! Just a heads-up that I'll be exercising the nuclear option of turning on the word verification.

This culture of corruption* must not continue.

*Talking point courtesy of the DNC.

The most wonderful (TV programming) time of the year

It's October, the month with the best TV programming (next to December - I'm a sucker for stuff like old school Christmas specials and holiday-themed episodes of "According to Jim"). First there's "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown", which is essential for learning the True Meaning of Halloween. Amazing that it still holds up after all these years. Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.

And then cable channels such as Turner Classic Movies and AMC run marathons of classic horror movies (especially the former). Despite the fact that I'm a wuss, I eat these movies up (when edited for time and content, of course). Last year I was unemployed (rather than my current underemployed state), so I was able to stay up all night and watch movies. Guess I'll be doing a lot of recording this month. Today I finally watched Possession, which has been sitting in my DVR for over three months now. 007 performs an exorcism? Sure! (It turned out to be just okay, kinda cheesy)

And when all else fails, I break out my DVDs. I'm most excited about the upcoming unrated cut of Land of the Dead. (I'll spare you another Zombie Week on the blog, though)

Happy Birthday, Charlie Brown, Linus, Pigpen, et al.

Happy 55th birthday, Peanuts gang!

If it's about laying off the insanity peppers, I'm way ahead of you.

My name is Micah, I'm 30 years old, and I've never cooked chili. I'll be rectifying that oversight today. Bought all of the ingredients last night. I'm anxious to find out what buffalo tastes like. The bitch was finding the merciless peppers of Quetzlzacatenango*. Does it get any better than chili and college football? Well, I suppose there could be a nekkid woman thrown in for good measure, but let's be realistic here.

Good luck to the Hokies and Spartans today (the Buckeyes and Spiders each have a bye week).

*Grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum.

EDIT to add a pic:



Buffalo chili is on the left, beef on the right. Even with the fam coming over for dinner, guess what I'll be eating for the next few weeks.