Isn't country music supposed to be all about family, America, and God (Johnny Cash's hard-drinkin' gangsta-centric stuff, aside)? Tell me what you think about the chorus to Kenny Chesney's "Key Lime Pie":
"Not too tart, not too sweet
My baby loves to watch me eat her (pause) key lime pie"
Heh heh. An ode to his partner's culinary skills or a thinly-veiled boasting of the singer's cunnilingual prowess? You tell me.
Now that I think about it, I could go for some key lime pie, too. (I'm carnally frustrated and I've been South Beachin' it for months...interepret it how you may.)
8 comments:
so, i'm taking your stabs at country music in stride. i'm thinking you're joking, right. country is about positive things? it's the blues for white-folk, basically.
but if by family, you mean an unhealthy fixation on mama, sure. if by America, you mean some weird flag-wavin' but mostly down-home centered americana (whatever that term means.), sure, i suppose. and if by God you mean, well, God and especially church but also the devil, then yeppers. but don't forget murder. murder's always been a big part of it, johnny cash or no johnny cash.
but then again, that's mostly just what i've read. outside of cash (who shot a man in reno just to watch him die), i never really listened much to the stuff. and now when there's nobodies/notalents like kenny chesney dominating the airwaves while the real talents have to share airtime w/ jessica simpson on a dumb-* tv remake just in order to be heard anymore (willie nelson. farm aid, great american songwriter, played with ray charles. maybe it was the pot. and tax evasion.), blah. forget it all.
i know, i know, easy target. maybe next time i'll pick something that'll piss people off. but i can't think of anything less significant that people actually like than country music.
and are you suggesting that you wish your toes were being eaten by chesney?
(i'm probably misreading quite a bit, but i think i prefer not to know.)
I was on hiatus from The Beach when I went home to the beach last weekend. My mom had waiting for me one of the best Key Lime Pies I've ever had. Oh, please don't turn this into a dirty joke, that's just wrong.
Meh. Most Top 40 country is lame. It's like Top 40 pop music but with a twang or drawl. I don't have to tell you that sucks.
Anyhow, I could care less about Kenny Chesney's tongue-in-vagina lyrics (P.S. am I the only one who immediately thought of The Rock's old pie schtick from WWE RAW/Smackdown?) As for Renee Zellweger? Pfft, my bartender is hotter.
No b*llsh*t.
jasdye - I love the classic stuff. The Power Country that dominates the radio, though, has strayed very far from its roots and I really can't enjoy. Every now and then there'll come along a song or album that I dig (Chesney's latest is essentially a Jimmy Buffett album, so I like it). I have no problem turning on the country music video channel and then muting it...there's always some nice lookin' ladies there.
KtG - You ate your mom's key lime pie? Ewwwww!
heartbreak - Agree with you on all counts. Renee used to be cute, though, until she got sickly skinny. I haven't watched wrasslin' regularly in years...is there a Nation of Domination reunion on the horizon? They were some bad mother-shut yo mouths.
HA HA HA! Next to "Bologna Sandwich Feet" and the toothbrush one, that is one of my favorite State sketches.
heartbreak--where's your bartender? I may have to venture nearer to Our Nation's Capital at some point and get an adult beverage there...
What’s up, with that “Patti Salmon” if that’s really her real name. It could be Salmon Patti for all we know? Any-Who, she is telling the whole world that at some place named “Kutcharitaville” and someone called “Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez”? Is that something like “Jimmy Buffet” the singer has down in Florida? Any-Who she says that he makes the best key-lime-pie that this world has ever seen and eaten. Also, if you can believe it, this so called “Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez” of “Kutcharitaville”, well he supposed to serve the “World’s Greatest Prime Ribs”? First of all, how can anyone be both a “Captain” and a “Chef”? Does that mean that he is the captain of all the chef’s or what? Son of a bitch I just don’t know do you?
She also states that this so called “Chef-Captain Kutchie Pelaez of Kutcharitaville” gives too all that order one of his “World Famous Prime Ribs” a coupon too fill-out and enter his monthly give away of, get this, One $Million Dollars! Who in their right mind gives away a Million $Dollars every month to people that eats his or anyone else’s Prime Ribs, Who-Who-Who? I might have been born at night but it wasn’t last night.
If all this could really be true, perhaps we should all go too this wonderful place called “Kutcharitaville” drink a few of those so-called Kutcharitas, eat “The World’s Greatest Prime Ribs and Key Lime Pie” and fill-in the blanks and win ourselves a Cool $Million Bucks. I ask you “What Have You Got To Loose?”
So, if you don’t win a Million Bucks, then all you have to blame is not me but someone named “Patti Salmon”. Or is it really “Salmon Patti”? Who knows?
Don’t Google Me, I Won’t Google You! We’ll All Win, Yeah!
Thanks Boss, I really love the way that you think!
It seems like just yesterday we were hearing Captain Kutchie Pelaez Himself in person telling us all
that “All Lives Matter”, All Lives, no group over any other other groups period! Captain Kutchis, He’s The Man
and don’t you forget it! No Brag, Kust Fact.
What’s up, with that “Patti Salmon” if that’s really her real name. It could be Salmon Patti for all we know? Any-Who, she is telling the whole world that at some place named “Kutcharitaville” and someone called “Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez”? Is that something like “Jimmy Buffet” the singer has down in Florida? Any-Who she says that he makes the best key-lime-pie that this world has ever seen and eaten. Also, if you can believe it, this so called “Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez” of “Kutcharitaville”, well he supposed to serve the “World’s Greatest Prime Ribs”? First of all, how can anyone be both a “Captain” and a “Chef”? Does that mean that he is the captain of all the chef’s or what? Son of a bitch I just don’t know do you?
She also states that this so called “Chef-Captain Kutchie Pelaez of Kutcharitaville” gives too all that order one of his “World Famous Prime Ribs” a coupon too fill-out and enter his monthly give away of, get this, One $Million Dollars! Who in their right mind gives away a Million $Dollars every month to people that eats his or anyone else’s Prime Ribs, Who-Who-Who? I might have been born at night but it wasn’t last night.
If all this could really be true, perhaps we should all go too this wonderful place called “Kutcharitaville” drink a few of those so-called Kutcharitas, eat “The World’s Greatest Prime Ribs and Key Lime Pie” and fill-in the blanks and win ourselves a Cool $Million Bucks. I ask you “What Have You Got To Loose?”
So, if you don’t win a Million Bucks, then all you have to blame is not me but someone named “Patti Salmon”. Or is it really “Salmon Patti”? Who knows?
Don’t Google Me, I Won’t Google You! We’ll All Win, Yeah!
Thanks Boss, I really love the way that you think!
It seems like just yesterday we were hearing Captain Kutchie Pelaez Himself in person telling us all
that “All Lives Matter”, All Lives, no group over any other other groups period! Captain Kutchis, He’s The Man
and don’t you forget it! No Brag, Just Fact.
Ain’t it the Truth?
O-K-U-WIN! Now, Kiss My Grits!
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