Going to Carolina...not just in my mind

I'll be taking a break from the ol' blogging, as this morning I leave for Richmond for a couple of days. Then it's off to the Outer Banks of North Carolina with the fam for some week-long R'n'R (similar to G'n'R, only less Axl). Ah, beach strolls, golf, fishing, reading (for pleasure), fresh seafood. I can't wait.


I'll be in Frisco, which is north of Buxton.

Check out the webcams here and you might just see me. But probably not. I'll resume blogging in the first week of April. Happy Wrestlemania (and Easter)!


The view from our rental house.

(Apologies for using a James Taylor song for the title of this post, but I couldn't think of any other Carolina-centric references.)

Crush of the Week: Kelly Hu

This week's crush is actress and native Hawaiian Kelly Hu, chosen mainly because I saw her host The History Channel's Conquest of Hawaii program this week. Not to mention the endless airings of X-Men 2 (dig that snug business suit she wears!) on HBO lately.


Yummy!

Plenty more pictures here.

Buy this album: "Bedtime with the Beatles"

I've got to say that power popster Jason Falkner's Bedtime with the Beatles is probably the most relaxing CD that I own. Sure it's a lullaby album (available in blue or pink covers), but I think adults will be able to appreciate it. This is a slight departure for Falkner, but he does an excellent job of selecting and recording songs from the Lennon/McCartney catalog, often slowing down their original tempos. Very soothing stuff. I bought a copy of this CD for my sister when she was preggers a year and a half ago, as well as one for myself. If you want an album that you can drift off to sleep to (in a good way), this is it.

I don't have a feeding frenzy in your toilet, don't pee in my ocean

Taking a break from March Madness, I watched the made-for-TV movie Spring Break Shark Attack last night.


Jaws? P'shaw.

Why was there a spring break shark attack? From what I gathered, a man chummed the waters along a beach to attract sharks and, therefore, drive the partying kids to his financially troubled bar at a nearby rival beach. The movie had everything: lots of sharks, hot chicks, a trite rich girl-blue collar guy romance, the dude from the 3rd season of 24, and a roofies subplot.

Although I only caught 3/4 of this fine piece of cinema, I can say without hyperbole or sarcasm that this is the greatest movie in the history of film. Okay, there is a bunch of hyperbole in that statement. And it's chock full of sarcasm. But I will say this: Spring Break Shark Attack is a great movie title.

Hipster bingo!

This is the funniest thing I've seen on the 'net...in the last 3 hours. Print it out, go to the latest trendy hotspot, and have fun.

For one day a year we're all Amish

It's St. Patrick's Day: the one day a year we're all a lil' Amish. Men'll be working in the fields. Women will be donning black shapeless dresses. So churn that butter, shun zipper technology, and retire to bed at daybreak. Wooooooo!

What's that? Irish? Please disregard the above and start the runnin' o' the stereotypes!

Suggested listening for today (and everday): the Pogues, Shane MacGowan's solo stuff, Flogging Molly, Dropkick Murphys, Carbon Leaf, the Tossers, Great Big Sea, Homeland, Mossy Moran, the Saw Doctors, and Seven Nations.

And watch The Boondock Saints.

Another Ides of March is over...

...and I'm still alive. Screw you, Fate.

BTW, great season premiere of "The Shield" tonight.

No more bottles of red, bottles of white

Billy Joel has entered a rehab clinic for alcohol abuse. Personally, I think he just couldn't keep up with with his cutie patootie young wife (who is 31 years younger than him). She'd wear out any old fart. Billy Joel: a true American hero*.

*Disregarding "River of Dreams" and all other musical works thereafter.

"...But heaven knows I'm miserable now"

Something cheery to kickstart your week: the Random Smiths Lyric Generator.

Call me morbid call me pale
I've spent too long on your trail
Far too long
Chasing your tail

Ah, Morrissey takes me back to my lonely, twisted teen years.

The best thing about "Man of the House" tanking...

...I no longer have to see commercials that have Tommy Lee Jones saying, "This is my happy faaaaaace." TLJ, just because you have an Oscar, doesn't mean you have to follow Cuba Gooding Jr.'s lead by making shitty movies.

Personally, I think moviegoers are staying away because they are confused and think this is a rerelease of the horrid 1995 Chevy Chase/Jonathan Taylor Thomas flick.

Done too soon: "Ed"

My lunchtime ritual lately has been to fix the Ultimate PBnJ (crunchy peanut butter, pineapple preserves, toasted whole grain bread) and watch a rerun of Ed on TBS.



The premise of the show is simple: Ed gets fired from his big NYC law firm and catches his wife cheating on him, so he decides to move back to his small hometown - the fictional Stuckeyville, Ohio. There he buys a bowling alley and runs his law practice out of there, while pursuing his high school crush Carol and reconnecting with his best friend Mike. Quirky characters abound, including one played by Michael Ian Black (aka That Guy From VH1's "I Love the __s" aka That Guy From The State aka Johnny Bluejeans). The closing arguments of Ed's weekly case always conveniently pertained to one of the episode's other non-law storylines. Lessons were learned. Laughs were had. NBC ran this David Letterman produced show for four seasons before it axed it early last year. I'm glad TBS picked up the syndicated episodes and I can only hope DVDs will be on the way.

Need a further Ed fix? Try Stuckeyville.com.

You got your Shrek in my Troy

There's a funny photoshop contest over at Worth1000 in which two movies are combined to make one poster. I only linked to the 9th contest, but check out the others, too. Funny stuff.


Another Oscar winner?

(I would've posted this seven hours ago, but Blogger is apparently programmed to piss me off today.)

Crush of the Week: Reiko Aylesworth

This week's crush is actress Reiko Aylesworth, in honor of her return to 24. She came back to the show this week (with straight hair!). I just hope the producers don't make her character go all bitchcakes, since the other wenches on the show are pretty much gone (and because "Michelle" was always one of the non-shrew female characters on the show).


Plenty more pics to tide you over here.

She's 1/4 Japanese, which gives her that exotic look that I dig so much.

A sad realization

I just realized that the three TV characters that I identify with the most are Moe Szylak ("The Simpsons"), Dr. Zoidberg ("Futurama"), and Bill Dauterive ("King of the Hill"). I say that this is sad because: A) these are all very lonely, desperate, pathetic characters and B) they are cartoons.

Jeez, I need a girlfriend. Or a hobby.

Translate it like it's hot

By now you've probably heard of Gizoogle, but I'll do a little write up about it anyways. Input a website or keywords and it'll translate them for you. Word.

It was kinda funny when I sent my blog through there. Here's how my blurb about The Count of Monte Cristo from my previous post turned out:

I bought this unabridged 1,462 page edition a year or two ago, but found tha cracka size of it a bit daunt'n n shit. But everyth'n I've heard `bout it sez it's off tha hook n I enjoy a good revenge tizzle n we out.

It's like my blog has spinners on it. Fo' real.

My reading pile

Now that the bar exam's over and I've caught up on the previous seasons of 24, I've got some time to kill. I figure I'll do some reading this month, especially since I'll be hitting the beach in a couple of weeks. I seriously doubt that I'll get to all of it, but here's my reading pile:

South Bay Blues by Pigeon John: This came in the mail today. It is a collection of poems by the best MC you've never heard. I'm not really one for poetry and picked this up mostly for the 8 song CD that was included with it.

Hollywood Interrupted: Insanity Chic in Babylon by Andrew Breitbart and Mark Ebner. I checked this out of the library. I've got a love/hate thing with Hollywood celebrities and this should just fan the flames.

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues by Tom Robbins. My brother got this for me for Christmas. He wrote in my copy that Robbins is his "favorite non-communist author." There are a lot of allusions to my small, whitebread hometown, so I'm looking forward to reading this book.

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. I bought this unabridged 1,462 page edition a year or two ago, but found the sheer size of it a bit daunting. But everything I've heard about it says it's awesome and I enjoy a good revenge tale.

Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier. Every couple of years, a book everyone loves gets passed around my extended family. This was such a book about five years ago. I received this as another present from my brother. "Quite possibly the best book ever," he says. That's a lot of hype, but I liked the movie a lot. So, who knows.

On the Road by Jack Kerouac. Yet another gift from my brother - sensing a pattern here? My brother's inscription from 1996: "OK this book is s'posed to be a 'modern classic' or whatever - a must-read for any mid-90s college kid. Personally I have not read this one but will as soon as you are done with it, K?" Better late than never.

Other books that I own, but have gone unread on the ol' pile: Winesburg, OHIO by Sherwood Anderson, Losing My Virginity by Richard Branson, A Pirate Looks at Fifty by Jimmy Buffett, The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, and A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers.

And I'm really looking forward to a book that'll be published in April - Misfortune by Wesley Stace (that's the real name of John Wesley Harding, one of my favorite recording artists).

Do it for Santa's Little Helper

Blog buddy panthergirl is having a comment fundraiser for Greyhound Rescue & Rehab over at her blog. She's donating $2 for the first 100 comments left on her post and $1 per comment thereafter. So go over there and make a dog's day.

"My few hours at the Arnold Classic" or "BEEFCAKE!"

A friend of mine won an entry for a drawing for a new Kia, as well as two tickets to the Arnold Classic held here in Cowtown. The convention center was packed with 'roided out men and women, booth babes, and normals. I swear, I've never been someplace where the "she's a man, baby" women to hot women ratio is 1:1. I only took pictures of the hot ones. Mmmm...body glitter. Booth babes, anyone?


Like I have a chance.

Juiced up meatheads were everywhere. BEEFCAKE! This one was some Meathead Celebrity. I had no clue who he was, but the Regular Meatheads were creaming their pants over him (well, they would if their genetalia weren't all shrunken):


"Nice bicep, Thunder."

As we were leaving, the governor of Kali-forn-i-a showed up. I was close enough to hypothetically shake his hand and transmit a deadly virus. I really wanted to shout, "I love you, Gambler!" but I don't think anyone'd get the reference. That and I didn't want to be jumped by his security.


"It's not a tumor."

So, I came home with plenty of free crap: magazines, protein mixes, workout towel, power drink, lots of colored pills. Just for gits and shiggles, I should ingest all of the consumables at once and see what they do.


What the hell am I gonna do with this stuff?

All in all, it was a pretty fun morning. I received the aforementioned free junk, basked in the Governator's glow, witnessed some freaks of nature, and left sexually frustrated after being in such close proximity to all of the booth babes. Those with access to my Imagestation, the album's already up.

My name in lights...

...Things are going to start happening to me today.



Create your own sign here.

Credit due: She's Come Undone

Misc. Movie Link: Further proof that advertising techniques can make anything look good.

Credit due: spydrz

Another thing I don't get

Butt cleavage. Discuss.

Crush of the Week: Julia Stiles

This week's crush is actress Julia Stiles. Aside from the Bourne movies, I'm not really a fan of her work. But she's a cutie, nonetheless.


Julia in winter clothes.

There's plenty more pictures here.

Need help finding some music?

I came across this site - Live Plasma - where you input a music artist's name and it brings up other musicians similar to the one you selected. You can then find artists similar to your results. And on and on. Pretty nifty.

The site's recently been updated to include searches for movies, actors, and directors. It's a great way to waste some time.

Apparently Hootie can't make his boat payments

Have you seen the Burger King commercial starring Darius Rucker, formerly of the multi-platinum selling group Hootie and the Blowfish? He must've hit hard times.



You can find a link to the commercial here.

Truth be told, I'm really digging this spot. It's got everything: country & western music, Hootie, Brooke Burke, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, the creepy BK guy, a big chicken, and Vida ("big caboose"). It's quite surreal.

Chicken breast trees, streams of bacon ranch dressing, cheddar paved streets, tumbleweeds of bacon...