Someone please explain this to me

I mentioned this in the comments to my Oscar night post, but does anyone actually find this hairstyle attractive?


Photo courtesy of Variety

Come on, Laura. You're an attractive woman...but not with that 'do.

"And the Oscar goes to...'You Got Served'"

Tonight the stars come out to shine...and make overlong acceptance speeches, lame jokes, and simplistic political statements. So join the fun and discuss (or just talk some trash about) the Oscars here - before, during, and after the big show.

And for those keeping tabs on my Oscar pool, you can find a direct link to it here.

This is how much of a dork that I am

I just put a new ringtone on my cell phone. It's the same ring that the CTU landlines have on 24. Now I can answer my phone by saying "Bauer!"

You can get an mp3 of the ringtone here (right-click "save as").

Bar Exam: Day Three

DONE! Six essay questions - Contracts, Civil Procedure, Evidence, Property, Professional Responsibility, and Constitutional Law. Still tough, but I'm just glad to be done with it.

I have a bunch of alcohol and rented the third season of 24. I'm just going to bunker down for the weekend.

Now all I have to do is wait until 7 am April 29th, when results are announced.

Bar Exam: Day Two

Today was the Multistate Bar Exam (MBE) - 200 multiple guess questions. Yep, another Spies Like Us quote:

"Look at these samples. All multiple choice. It's easy. Here: 'If discovered appropriating classified documents at a foreign consolate reception, you should: A) express concern; B) act surprised; C) deny everything; and D) all three.' The answer is D) all three. It's common sense stuff."

Actually, the MBE was quite tough. But that's the nature when every question has at least two viable answers.

Despite that, I ended up finishing about 15 minutes early. Having to remain in my seat, I entertained myself by playing with my pencils and catching quick glimpses of the cute girl facing me a few tables away (ring on her finger, though). I think that I made her laugh with the ol' "rubber pencil" illusion.

Bar Exam: Day One

Well, I survived the first day of the Ohio. Today's essays covered Partnerships, Torts, Criminal Law, Wills, Contracts, and Secured Transactions. Whew! Some thoughts:

1) Today is by far the worst day - 6 essay questions in the morning and 2 Multistate Performance Tests (MPT) in the afternoon. I say it's the worst because anything could be tested. At least for tomorrow's Multistate Bar Exam (MBE) - 200 questions - you know what subjects are covered. And then for Thursday's six essay questions you can deduce what'll be tested from the remaining uncovered subjects.

2) Each MPT consists of a client file and "library" of resources. You then have to write a specific document - summary judgment motion, memo, client letter, etc. It's really easy because you don't have to know any law - it's all given to you. Mostly it's a test of time management (you get 1.5 hours per MPT). I ran out of time on the first one and had 30 minutes leftover on the second - BORING.

3) My handwriting really sucks. Ever see the movie Se7en? You know the serial killer's notebooks? Yeah, my MPT books looked like that.

4) One of the prominent hypothetical MPT statutes was the Medical Insurance Contracts Act - MICA, for short. That's right, hundreds of people were repeatedly reading my name (albeit misspelled). You Bobs, Eds, and Marys are saying "so what?" but to people like me with freakish names, it's a big deal. It's up there with finding a song that uses your name (BTW, there's only one Micah song - "Where's Micah?" by Christian ska band Five Iron Frenzy).

5) I really like when women do the "dress down" look. Sweats, baseball caps, glasses (naturally) - AW, YEAH! Seriously! Makes me wonder if any of the women in the room have a thing for chubby bearded guys.

6) I want to be a proctor when I grow up. They spend a total of maybe 15 minutes (at most) a day distributing and collecting materials and the rest just hanging out. The job combines my two passions: handing out things and reading magazines.

7) Last time I took this exam, I'd eat lunch with a group of friends. We'd talk about our answers and it ultimately undermined my confidence. This time I had lunch (pastrami sandwich, Pringles, cookies, Diet Dr. Pepper) alone in my car (2000 VW Jetta). I feel relatively better about the test than last year. Go, seclusion!

Okay, I'm going to enjoy some well-deserved "Simpsons" time.

"Will you hold my wallet for me while I take the test, please? There's a thousand dollars in there... or maybe there isn't. Know what I mean?"

I should've made this annoucement a couple of days ago, but blogging will be at a minimum this week. Tomorrow I've got some last minute cramming to do before the bar exam, which is Tuesday through Thursday. Why do I envision a Spies Like Us scenario during the exam?




I'll probably post a few times - maybe just exam-related entries, but my time should (I stress "should") be devoted to reviewing my outlines. Will someone check in on me this weekend? I'm scheduled to have alcohol poisoning on Thursday night.

Friday mash-up round up

Just one link for today. It's a video mash-up of "Paperback Writer" by the Beatles and "I'm a Believer" by the Monkees. Surprisingly, it works. As Lloyd Christmas says, the Monkees were a big influence on the Beatles.

Right-click "save as" here.

Credit due: DDW

Crush of the Week: Sarah Chalke

This week's crush is Scrubs actress Sarah Chalke (or Becky II if you are a Roseanne fan). Every week she cracks me up, while providing nice eye candy. Plus, unlike the previous couple of Crushes, she's a young 'un (I'm only a year and 3 days older than her).



"Frick!"

Screw the bar exam, I'm heading to culinary school

Tonight I took a study break and attended a hands-on cooking class at Sur La Table - "A Taste of the Bayou." The menu consisted of jambalaya, Cajun dirty rice, skillet corn bread, and beignets. The instructor was the executive chef at Martini's, a local Italian restaurant. I learned some great tips and am jonesin' to make a big pot of Creole goodness. It really made me want to ditch this whole "law thing" and enroll in culinary school. Maybe for my mid-life crisis.

With the course registration, I received a 10% store discount. I didn't think that I'd buy anything, but after some browsing I gave in. Here's what I picked up: espresso martini mix and rimmer (*snicker*), a measurement convertor magnet, a set of Hawaiian shirt coasters, and a really cool margarita glass.



I'm sure you're thinking, "but Micah, you don't like mararitas." I don't, but this glass is so cool that I plan on drinking everything out of it: vodka tonics, bourbon, juice, milk, Fresca, whatever.

On a completely separate note, I got home in time to watch the second half of the Richmond/St. Joe's game that was streamed on the internet. Boy, I haven't seen two teams play so terribly. Neither one broke 50 points.

And people wonder why I'm fussy about my condiments

A Swedish woman found a human penis in a bottle of ketchup. It seems everyone's Valentines wishes are coming true, but mine.

"I will never buy this brand again, it's finished," she said. Oh, come on. She's going to let a "medium sized" thing like this destroy her brand loyalty?

I hate to help perpetuate regional and ethnic stereotypes...

...but this site kills me. There has to be a picture of Vic somewhere in the photo archive. And a Gotti or two.

Here's to the Losers

For those not recognizing Hallmark's Make All Single People Feel Like Crap Day:

Here's to those who love not too wisely, know not wisely, but too well
To the girl who sighs with envy when she hears that wedding bell
To the guy who'd throw a party if he knew someone to call
Here's to the losers, bless them all

Here's to those who drink their dinners when that lady doesn't show
To the girl who'll wait for kisses underneath that mistletoe
To the lonely summer lovers when the leaves begin to fall
Here's to the losers, a-bless them all

Hey, Tom, Dick and Harry, come in out of the rain
Those torches you carry must be drowned in champagne

Here's the last toast of the evening, here's to those who still believe
All the losers will be winners, all the givers shall receive
Here's to trouble-free tomorrows, may your sorrows all be small
Here's to the losers, bless them all

At least I have Jack Bauer to keep me company tonight. And a Big Salad.

I proclaim this week to be...Salad Week

Just to mix things up a bit, I'm going to eat mostly salads for lunches/dinners this week. Think of it as the anti-"Supersize Me." I already went to the store today to stock up.



"I know that you'll feel better/When you send us in your letter and/Tell us the name of your favorite vege-table" - Brain Wilson, "Vege-Tables"

Quick movie reviews

Here's some short reviews of movies that I saw over the last few weeks (in the theater or on DVD or cable):

I Heart Huckabees: I didn't heart it. Marky Mark did a great job, though. Usually this is my type of movie, but...it just wasn't all that funny. I expected great things from the writer/director of Flirting With Disaster (a movie I love).

House of Flying Daggers: I wanted to really love this one, but it fell short. It's a gorgeous movie, deserving of its Best Cinematography nod. The story calls for two huge battles at the end, yet we only get one. Also, I didn't buy some of the characters' motivations. Really, who falls into the End All Be All Love after knowing the other person for only three days?

The Rundown: This had a lot of things going for it: big, dumb action; The Rock, who just oozes charisma; Stifler and Christopher Walken; monkeys. Overall, not a bad popcorn flick. The Rock kicks butt in a pair of khakis and an oxford shirt. For most of the movie, though, his character proclaims that he doesn't like using guns, yet he utilizes them in the climax. It would've been better (and refreshingly different) if he never used them at all (not that I'm one of those anti-gun folks).

13 Going on 30: Very girly, but the Jennifer Garner eye candy is enough for me to give it a shot. Cute. Not worth owning, but cute.

The Punisher: When I was in my formative years, the Punisher was my comic book character of choice. I'd witnessed a God-awful movie adaption starring Dolph Lundgren in 1989, so my hopes were high for this one. Thomas Jane pulled off the title role much better than I thought he would. My biggest complaint is that the movie would sometimes go for silly laughs, which doesn't fit with the tone of the source material.

Music geek voyeurism (and a pinch of narcissism)

Nothing really worthwhile to post today, so how about some filler?! A few days ago I discovered Audioscrobbler, which basically lets the world know what music one is currently listening to. This immediately appealed to the music geek in me (his name is Cato the Uncle). Click the button below (or on the righthand column) to see what's been burnin' up my Winamp.



At the bottom of the righthand column of this blog I've installed a script that will let you know the last song that I've played. Pretty nifty!

Also, if you are so inclined, you can check out my DVD collection over at DVDSpot. Yeah, I own Out Cold - so, what?

Aphex Swank

Ever notice how you never see electronic musician Aphex Twin (ne Richard D. James) and Hilary Swank (The Next Karate Kid, The Core) together in the same room at the same time? Hmmm...



(Admittedly, not my best work.)

Do you need a jacket today?

Well, do you?

Which explains my attraction to Velma from Scooby-Doo

This past weekend I was having an IM conversation with my friend Memmer while I watched "Weekend Update" on SNL (the only watchable part of that show nowadays). I, of course, made a comment about the attractiveness of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, which led to an analysis of my taste in the fairer sex.

Memmer: pretty cut and paste your type of girls
Micah: how so?
Memmer: glasses for starters, then there's the slight quirkiness, they are cute, but not super hot, they act smart, shall I go on?
Micah: yeah, that's pretty much it
Memmer: not your typical pinup, but some day maybe if they're lucky you'll encounter them in a dark alleyway and they'll be all yours!
Micah: you betcha. glad i'm so easy to peg
Memmer: You like a girl who takes "You look like Lisa Loeb" as a compliment.
Micah: but i also like strippers
Memmer: true, there is that whole thing. Maryann or the actress (whose name I'm forgetting)
Micah: ginger, duh

There's nothing wrong with Lisa Loeb.

Why can't Fox broadcast this?

I could watch this for hours. Well, maybe not that long, but it sure beats the crap out of all the "reality" programming on American TV.

Credit due: Lewies Blog

EDIT: I added some new tunes by Mos Def, Norah Jones, Admiral Twin, Jack Ingram, Katie Melua, and Jars of Clay to my Radio Blog (right column at the bottom). Enjoy.

Crush of the Week: Patricia Heaton

My crush for this week is Patricia Heaton: actress, conservative, Ohio native. And funny. I'd wager that she's the most attractive TV mom since Donna Reed.

Cluck You

To compliment my workout regimen, I had KFC for dinner last night. My choice of restaurant wasn't motivated by the boycott, but it just gives me a warm fuzzy that I can piss off PETA and Al Sharpton at the same time.

While I'm mentioning PETA, go here and sign the petition to have PETA's tax-exempt status removed, since they advocate and financially support criminal activity.

People shouting "Howdy, neighbor!"

To those clamoring to get a look at my visage, the wait is over:



This is a fairly inaccurate picture of me, South Park-style. I made it over at South Park Studios. Sure, my hair's not that messy and I currently have a beard (the above is Micah Classic), but I think that I nailed the Hawaiian shirt, khakis, and alabaster skin.

10,000 strong...and growing*

*to be sung to the tune of the Flintstones Chewable Vitamins jingle

My modest blog reached the 10,000 visitors milestone this evening and I just wanted to extend my thanks to everyone who's dropped by. Near as I can figure, my total audience breaks down as follows:

-90% are BE, BC, and BZ folks waiting for 30 seconds before moving on (hey, I do the same thing)
-3% are friends and well-wishers
-2% are those coming here from a Google search for Rachael Harris or "huge sweatermeat"
-5% is me constantly checking for new comments (I'm a ho)

While I'm feeling all misty-eyed, there are a couple of thanks that I need to give. First, thanks to Flirt in a Skirt for my jazzy new button:



Next, I'd like to thank Charity over at Red Designs for my swanky new banner:



Basically, dicta are the parts of a judge's opinion that aren't essential to his decision. In order to justify my huge student loans, I figured that I may as well utilize my law school education somehow. Also, "Mustache rides - $10" seemed too crude for a banner. Thanks again, folks!

Numa Numa Yea!

This video has been around for a while, but it's still damn funny. I haven't laughed so hard at an internet video since "Gonads and Strife" and "The whistles go WOO WOO." The guy reminds me of a pre-svelte Steven Page from the Barenaked Ladies.

Want the video uncut with lyric subtitles and translation? Look here.

The original video of the song is here. It kind of makes you nostalgic for the days when Eiffel 65 reigned supreme on the charts.

Of werewolves and cola

Before the Commercial Showcase (and Super Bowl) tomorrow and the $2.5 million ads are aired, I'd like to give a couple of quick thoughts on some advertising that's currently in rotation.

Good spot: Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. By it's very name, the soda sounds disgusting, but I love the commercial for it. A woman's on a date and the guy is talking about how incredible he is and then she drinks the pop and all she hears is "Ma Na Ma Na" (you know - the song by the Muppets). Any commercial that utilizes that song is A-OK in my book (er, blog).

Bad spot: Eclipse Mints. Every time I see that stupid wolfman talking about what he had for lunch ("...and a garlic pickle"), I want to shoot him with a silver bullet. There's just something about the way he talks. Ugh.

Special mention: HP. "Picture Book" by the Kinks is just so damn CATCHY!

Friday mash-up round-up

A lot has been said about the much-lauded Grey Album by Danger Mouse, which mixes music from Jay-Z and the Beatles. Well, there's a really well-made video to accompany it: The Grey Video. It's been around for a couple of months, but I haven't heard too much about it.

Who knew that Ringo was so fresh?

Requiem for Dean Wormer

John Vernon 1932-2005



Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

Micah World radio is live!

Wanna hear some new tunes? Check out my Radio Blog at the bottom of the righthand column (you may have to refresh the page). It's a diverse mix of songs from Flogging Molly, Atmosphere, Crowded House, Skillz, Nellie McKay, and others. I'll rotate songs periodically. Enjoy!

mpfree: Hamlet in four minutes and fifty-seven seconds

One of my all-time favorite musicians is John Wesley Harding and he's got a handful of free MP3s available for download on his site. One's very good, in particular: "Hamlet." It humorously tells the story of Hamlet in under five mintues. Classic stuff. Now you don't have to see the play.

Find it here (right click "save as"): "Hamlet"

Hamlet, Hamlet - very barmy/Hamlet, Hamlet loves his mommy...

Crush of the Week: Maggie Cheung

This week's crush is another actress - Maggie Cheung. I first saw her in the 2000 film In the Mood for Love and immediately took a liking to her. Western audiences probably know her best from Hero, released in the US last year. At 40 years old, she's still a looker.


Definitely check out this movie sometime. It may be a bit slow for some, but it's really well made (the soundtrack is excellent, too).

"Ned Ryerson?" "BING!"

Happy Groundhog Day!



First D.J.: Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
Second D.J.: It's cold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
First D.J.: Not hardly. So the big question on everybody's lips.
Second D.J.: On their chapped lips
First D.J.: their chapped lips is, does Phil feel lucky? Punksatawney Phil, thats right wood chuck chuckers its...
[in unison]
First D.J.: GROUND HOG DAY
Second D.J.: GROUND HOG DAY

OH Judge: "Take me drunk, officer. I'm home."

Ohio Supreme Court Justice Alice Robie Resnick was arrested yesterday for drunk driving. Her BAC level was twice the legal limit. At 2 pm. I wonder how many shots of Jagermeister she had at lunch. Or maybe it was a tall glass of Kamchatka Vodka.



My favorite part of the story: After asking her to take part in an eye test, [the state trooper] says she refused and then, "rolled up her window and took off." Johnny Law caught up to her six miles down the road.

Full reports (with video and slideshow!) are available here and here.

Today's arrest of Resnick, the only Democrat on the bench, eclipses today's other big Ohio news - Mayor Coleman's announcement of his candidacy for governor. Coleman's response to the story: "Dammit, woman."

(Special thanks to Micah World Junior News Team Scooper Memmer for the tip.)

Complete B.S.

If I could force the public to watch one show, it would definitely be Penn & Teller: Bullshit!. In this show our favorite magicians/hucksters/Vegas residents tackle common beliefs, misconceptions, and other subjects and expose them for what they are: bullshit. Season one explored secondhand smoke, bottled water, feng shui, and alternative medicine, among other things. The second season (which was just released on DVD today) attacks such weighty topics as P.E.T.A., recycling, the war on drugs, and 12 step recovery programs.

The show is broadcast on Showtime, but I don't get that channel so I've had to wait for the DVDs. But they are well worth the price. Go pick these up and get educated.